Bro your balls are so fucking gigantic and saggy they got their own zip code, and when you walk it sounds like two bowling balls in a pillowcase slapping against your knees — thwack thwack thwack. You don’t sit down anymore, you just collapse like a building demolition while your nuts hit the floor first and yell “TIMBERRRR!” You need a forklift just to take a piss. Your dick? That poor little thing is basically a frightened turtle hiding between two weather balloons. You can’t even wipe your own ass — your balls get in the way so you have to hire a professional ball-holder to lift them for you. Showering takes forty-five minutes because you gotta shampoo them separately, condition them, and blow-dry so they don’t get swamp ass. Your girlfriend didn’t break up with you, she filed for divorce from your balls. They got their own Instagram with more followers than you. Every time you stand up your nuts scream “we’re free!” and slap the back of your thighs like they’re applauding their own escape. You’re not a man, you’re a walking testicular support group.
Submitted by:anonymous
Bro your balls are so fucking gigantic and saggy they got their own zip code, and when you walk it sounds like two bowling balls in a pillowcase slapping against your knees — thwack thwack thwack. You don’t sit down anymore, you just collapse like a building demolition while your nuts hit the floor first and yell “TIMBERRRR!” You need a forklift just to take a piss. Your dick? That poor little thing is basically a frightened turtle hiding between two weather balloons. You can’t even wipe your own ass — your balls get in the way so you have to hire a professional ball-holder to lift them for you. Showering takes forty-five minutes because you gotta shampoo them separately, condition them, and blow-dry so they don’t get swamp ass. Your girlfriend didn’t break up with you, she filed for divorce from your balls. They got their own Instagram with more followers than you. Every time you stand up your nuts scream “we’re free!” and slap the back of your thighs like they’re applauding their own escape. You’re not a man, you’re a walking testicular support group.