[Copypasta] I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
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I sexually idenfity as VapeNation

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as VapeNation . Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling the air with the fattest rips. People say to me that a person being VapeNation is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cloudchasers, coils, and a battery on my body for the perfect vape. From now on I want you guys to call me “Lit” and respect my right to rip the fattest vapes. If you can’t accept me you’re a vapiphobe and need to check your VapeNation privileges
twitch chat
March 2016

VapeNation

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you can’t accept me you’re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as your mom

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as your mom. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of cooking for your father and you and fuck your father and make you more sisters. People say to me that a person being your mom is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. im gonna marry your father. From now on I want you guys to call me " Mommy" and respect my right to cook food and fuck your father. If you can't accept me you're a mommyphobic and need to check if your mom is still alive. Thank you for being so understanding
twitch chat
September 2019

I sexually Identify as

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