I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth
twitchquotes:
High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
salty
Le fedora has arrived
░░░░░░░░▄▀█▀█▄██████████▄▄░░░░░░
░░░░░░░▐██████████████████▌░░░░░
░░░░░░░████le██fedora████████▌░░
░░░░░░▐███████████████████▌░░░░░
░░░░░░████has████arrived███████▄
░░░▄█▐█▄█▀█████████████▀█▄█▐█▄░░
░▄██▌██████▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█████▌██▌░
▐████▄▀▀▀▀████████████▀▀▀▀▄███░░
▐█████████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀░░░
░░░▀▀████████████████████░░░░░░░
Classic
In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer
I want to become a walrus
twitchquotes:
Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat