[Copypasta] You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
twitch chat
November 2015
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Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~โ€ข ~โ€ข ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Traumatized Mr Incredible

โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–
ascii art
February 2022

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

Learn to spell you fucking idiot

It's 'forget' not 'forgor'. It's 'remember' not 'rember'. How many fucking times do I have to tell you this? Go to a fucking school and learn how to spell you dumbass. Seriously, these 'forgor' and 'rember' things are NOT funny and will make you look like a loser.
August 2021

Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
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