[Copypasta] You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
twitch chat
November 2015
(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but Iā€™m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iā€™m a girl who lives alone so I guess some ā€œdudeā€ stuff hasnā€™t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. Heā€™s a dandy long leg. Heā€™s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said ā€œyouā€™re welcomeā€. Iā€™m super confused. So I ask ā€œfor what?ā€ He says ā€œI just killed a big ass spider for youā€. I couldnā€™t even contain myself. I just yelled ā€œYOU KILLED JOE?!ā€ And started tearing up. I didnā€™t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. Heā€™s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeā€™s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

spagootie

sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days. next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
April 2022

Intelligence and tolerance

twitchquotes: This is the best possible chat. The combination of inteligence and tolerance, it's just crazy. I never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys make me proud I'm a member of twitch chat. Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi Godā€™s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the ā€œInternetā€? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspÄ«eris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spÄ«en aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spÄ«tĒ’us frivōl thou namest ā€œthine lifā€. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cĒ’uthest hauen knouen what unblessed pÅ«nÄ«ciĒ’un thine littel ā€œgleuā€ glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tĒ’ng stille. But thou cĒ’uthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing