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Sometimes I like to put 9 towels into my anus and pretend I'm Ahri. Please no coperino and pasra macaroni, thank you! Sorry for bad England, I walk many Egyption miles to come watch.
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What happened to this ad? :(
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200 word essay due
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200 word essay due tomorrow and I'm here watching qtpie 
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imaqtpie
Classic
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
TLDR; My husband says āGoblin Mode activatedā when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says āGoblin Mode offā when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heās always been great in bed. But recently heās been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in āGoblin Modeā. We didnāt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heās an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iāve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heās been a little emotionally unwell. Iāve heard him muttering, āGoblinā repeatedly when he didnāt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said āGoblin Mode activatedā, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iāve ever had, but Iām worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnāt the āGoblin Modeā, itās that he could be ill
Confessions
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Wasting time on Twitch, must be me
No girlfriend āļø Infinite poop
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Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
Classic
I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat
twitchquotes:
The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
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Kripp