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8=====> Only the chosen one can hold his donger β 
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What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
WEEB pyramid
HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM
twitchquotes:
HELLO 911 π JAKE IS IN MY ROOM π HE HAS A PULSE BOMB π WHATS THAT? π ILL BE OKAY? π
HELLO 911 π JAKE IS IN MY ROOM π HE HAS A PULSE BOMB π WHATS THAT? π ILL BE OKAY? π
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OverwatchLeague
Classic
Overwatch
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
Shrek
Classic
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha
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Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
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Kripp
Classic
neverlucky
not an asexual thing
twitchquotes:
βnot an asexual thingβ. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each othersβ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
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