If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is āmental abuse to humansā? Well, lemme tell you one thing: āMathā is an abbreviation for āmathematicsā, so youāre only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for āexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsā! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youāre not truly intelligent or cool! Youāre dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donāt forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
Classic
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
TLDR; My husband says āGoblin Mode activatedā when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says āGoblin Mode offā when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heās always been great in bed. But recently heās been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in āGoblin Modeā. We didnāt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heās an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iāve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heās been a little emotionally unwell. Iāve heard him muttering, āGoblinā repeatedly when he didnāt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said āGoblin Mode activatedā, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iāve ever had, but Iām worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnāt the āGoblin Modeā, itās that he could be ill
Confessions
Classic
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell āamogusā 69 times
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell āamogusā 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Dicks are so cute omg
twitchquotes:
Dicks are so cute omg(ā āā¢āĻāā¢ā ā) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/Ļļ¼¼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!ļ¼ļ¼¾ćÆļ¼¾)
twitch chat
Classic
Gay chicken
twitchquotes:
In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat