[Copypasta] Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both asses. ⎝ Kreygasm
twitch chat
June 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Things escalated from there

twitchquotes: I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
July 2018

Anime girl 10 open mouth

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⣀⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠺⠿⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣦⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⠏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⠀⣐⣣⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣮⣽⣰⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣤⠄⢠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿⠃⢠⠖⠛⣛⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⡻⠿⠿⢃⣄⣭⡟⢀⡎⣰⡶⣪⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⡟⠘⠿⠿⠎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⠧⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⢹⣿⡧⠀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⢰⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠟⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡀
August 2019

Weebs

NSFW

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

The creation of Among Us and it's consequences have been a disaster for the human race

The creation of Among Us and it's consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Just a few months after youtubers and twitch streamers brought it to fame, it had been loaded with kids infested with the hype of the game among us. Furthermore, the constant use of Among us had rendered the game boring, as it entered the downfall stage of a game's popularity, just like Fall Guys. However, this is not something you should celebrate; since the constant use had also brought a new genre or era of memes, often referred to as post-irony. A bastardized version of Among Us called "Amogus" was used for the game in these meme's contexts, going viral in the Urban Dictionary. All the cultures of normie memes and pre-2020 memes have been wiped off as the "Amogus" meme exploded. Post irony has caused a greater disaster where everybody sees things as the crewmate in the mobile game Among Us. As memes began referring to everything as the crewmate, people have been driven to insanity. People who used to be normal looking at memes were now infected by the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, which renders everything as something they've seen constantly. "Amogus Everywhere" is the bastardized name of the Phenomenon. Capitalistic-driven people have been competing for a Amogus-crewmate chicken nugget, costing $100,000 at an auction. I hope life returns to normal as Among Us and Amogus have been wiped of the face of this Earth.
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing