[Copypasta] I Summon Fish Moley

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

November 2020

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.

March 2021

WallStreetBets

Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman

twitchquotes: Bruh wharf if, if the spy fromb tf2 disguised himself as demoman to get an N-word word pass.

twitch chat

May 2019

the unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.

twitch chat

September 2021

k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Squid

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ascii art

November 2014

[Copypasta] I Summon Fish Moley

Just as the founding fathers intended

We can't blame market

WallStreetBets

Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman

the unluckiest human ever

Teamfight Tactics

Squid

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