twitchquotes:
By All That Is Holy I Summon Fish Moley
By All That Is Holy I Summon Fish Moley
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education.
Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will..
Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live.
You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
Rick screaming
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠒⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠦⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠒⠚⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠒⠒⠶⠤⢄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠙⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠲⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀
⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡄⠀
⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀
⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀
⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇
⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀
⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀
⠀⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠉⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠈⠓⠶⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⢄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀
⣀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦
⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠛⣻⣶⠢⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠘⢦⣀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠛⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠉⣳⢤⣀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠛⣧⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄
⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⠀⠈⠙⠲⣤⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠴⣾⡉⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣾⣷⠀⠉⠉⣽⡏⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣦⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁
⠀⠀⠈⠻⣏⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀
⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡞⠁⠀⠀⢻⡿⠏⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⡿⠋⠉⢿⡿⠃⠀⢀⣨⠿⠋⠀⠀⣴⠚
⠀⠉⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⠦⣄⣼⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠸⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⠀⢀⣨⡧⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠏⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠢⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠒⠒⠛⠒⠲⠤⠤⠴⠧⠤⠤⠤⠤⠼⠖⠒⠒⠒⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⡴⠞⠉⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⠖⠒⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Rick and Morty
⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.
I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky
twitchquotes:
Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky naked. For each sexy thought, I stick one of my fingers up my tight moist butthole. I think about his soft ass flesh, tender yet firm. That's one finger. Next I think about his pale thighs, what they would feel like pounding against my anus. 2 fingers. Next up I think about that long, girthy, uncircumsized penis. 3 fingers. No more fingers will fit, so I prepare for my climax. I scream Sneaky's name as I cover my fishtank in warm lovejuice
twitch chat
Sneaky