[Copypasta] I Summon Fish Moley

twitchquotes: FishMoley By FishMoley All FishMoley That FishMoley Is FishMoley Holy FishMoley I FishMoley Summon FishMoley Fish FishMoley Moley
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

This is so small to read even for you bro

twitchquotes: ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵉᵛᵉᶰ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇʳᵒ⋅ ᴰᵒᶰᵗ ᵗʳʸ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒᶰᵗᶦᶰᵘᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵉʸᵉˢ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰᵘʳᵗ ˢᵒᵒᶰ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ˢᵗᵒᵖ⋅ ᵂʰʸ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵗᵒᵖ﹖⋅⋅⋅⋅ᵍᵒ ᵃʷᵃʸ ᵇʳᵒ ᵃᶰᵈ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵉˣᵗ ᶜᵒᵖʸᵖᵃˢᵗᵃ⋅ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶫʳᵉᵃᵈʸ﹗ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ʷᵃᶰᶰᵃ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵘᵖ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ﹖⋅⋅⋅ʷᵉᶫᶫ ᵒᵏ, ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒᶰ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵒᵘᶫᵈ ᶜᵒᵖʸᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵃᶰᵏ ᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵃˢᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵗʳᵉˢˢᶦᶰᵍ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵉʸᵉˢ ᵗʰᵒ
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend

twitchquotes: TPFufun Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend. To attain my flavor and fragrance, I use five different types of coffee beans. TPFufun
twitch chat
August 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing