[Copypasta] Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend

twitchquotes: TPFufun Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend. To attain my flavor and fragrance, I use five different types of coffee beans. TPFufun
twitch chat
August 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Lenny face fabulous

βŠ‚_ヽ γ€€ οΌΌοΌΌ γ€€γ€€ οΌΌ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) γ€€γ€€ γ€€βŒ’γƒ½ γ€€γ€€γ€€/ γ€€ へ＼ γ€€γ€€ /γ€€γ€€/γ€€οΌΌοΌΌ γ€€γ€€ οΎšγ€€γƒŽγ€€γ€€ ヽ_぀ γ€€γ€€/γ€€/ γ€€ /γ€€/| γ€€(γ€€(ヽ γ€€|γ€€|、＼ γ€€| δΈΏ οΌΌ βŒ’) γ€€| |γ€€γ€€) / `γƒŽ )γ€€γ€€LοΎ‰ (_／
ascii art
December 2020

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/201β–ˆ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

A hole in my son's body pillow

My son is 13, recently I've bought him a body pillow of a cartoon he liked and I've noticed he made a hole in it, does this mean he doesn't like the pillow? Should I buy him a new one?
May 2021

Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

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