[Copypasta] Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend

twitchquotes: TPFufun Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend. To attain my flavor and fragrance, I use five different types of coffee beans. TPFufun
twitch chat
August 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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only the realest player will dunk this

twitchquotes: TriHard / 🏀 TRUE BALLER TEST only the realest player will dunk this 🗑
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March 2018

Chat Test

Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

I declare with utter certainty that this one is in the bag

twitchquotes: ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＥ ＧＨＡＳＴＬＹ ＥＹＲＩＥ Ｉ ＣＡＮ ＳＥＥ ＴＯ ＴＨＥ ＥＮＤＳ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＷＯＲＬＤ， ＡＮＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＩＳ ＶＡＮＴＡＧＥ ＰＯＩＮＴ Ｉ ＤＥＣＬＡＲＥ ＷＩＴＨ ＵＴＴＥＲ ＣＥＲＴＡＩＮＴＹ ＴＨＡＴ ＴＨＩＳ ＯＮＥ ＩＳ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＢＡＧ！
twitch chat
January 2015
DotADeMoN

Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

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