[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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I sold my sandwich to learn about the Lucian level 2 power spike

twitchquotes: I sᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ sᴀɴᴅᴡɪᴄʜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ Lᴜᴄɪᴀɴ ʟᴇᴠᴇʟ 2 ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ sᴘɪᴋᴇ. Jᴜsᴛ ᴀs ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛɪᴇʀ ᴇʟᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ, I ᴅɪᴇᴅ ᴏғ sᴛᴀʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Iғ ᴏɴʟʏ I ʜᴀᴅ ᴇᴀᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏᴀsᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴜɴᴀ sᴀʟᴀᴅ ʜᴏᴀɢɪᴇ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴛʜɪs
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

Jhin

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ascii art
July 2021

League of Legends

I love watching QT games

twitchquotes: I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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