[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Shrug

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠴⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢚⣂⡀⠈⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠐⢟⡇⠀⠈⢣⣠⠞⠉⠉⠑⢄⠀⠀⣰⠋⡯⠗⣚⣉⣓⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢠⢞⠉⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠓⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⢹⣠⠕⠘⢧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠘⠮⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀⢳⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠉⠓⠦⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⠤⠤⠖⠋⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠈⡇⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⣆⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠳⠃⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢏⠉⢳⡀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⡞⠓⠉⠁⠀⢳⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠙⠦⣤⣀⣀⡤⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⠗⠒⣚⠀⢀⡤⠚⠉⢳⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⠵⡾⠋⠉⠉⡏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⣳⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
July 2022

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress ⠀＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀my food is wrong /⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノ ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／ ⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/) ⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
ascii art
March 2021
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