[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Prize pool of 4 potatoes

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Boris Ilya Pistolento. I'm from a small village in cold Siberia. For many years I dreamed of a profession, Cardstone player! But tetris all I can do. One day a trucker was crash in the back of the house of mine and a box fell out. It was the commodore 64, my dreaming is comming to reality. Now I can join the local tournamento, the prize pool of which 4 potatoes. Please no Copy-Pasta!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Minecraft creeper head v2

βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…
ascii art
August 2021

Minecraft

Discord made me racist

Last time when I was 9 years old, my 29 years old roblox friend told me to download an app called discord. So after using discord for 3 years, I found multiple racist servers that I joined. They all send nazi and geroge floyd. They say n word and shit and now I say the n word too. I think saying n word is so funny. I say heil hitler too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Everytime I post gore, me and the boys can’t stop laughing. We jack off to fortnite sex too. I am now racist and a nazi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
June 2021

Discord

Hot Twitch streamers are just not good for my health

Her streams are just not good for my health. She is so hot I skip every stage and go straight to post nut clarity, then I get a deep feeling of loneliness and dread. I just don't know what to do with myself and everything seems pointless.
December 2021

Coomer

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing