[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Stuck in Kripp's basement

twitchquotes: |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅| HELP I'M STUCK IN KRIPP'S BASEMENT |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅|
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

forsenSS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡄⣰⢞⣿⡵⣽⢯⣶⢾⣿⣟⣿⣭⣤⡌⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠄⢠⣿⣿⣟⡿⣟⣳⣿⡿⣗⡷⣫⣿⡏⣿⣻⣭⣿⣿⠁⠜⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⢼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣶⣿⡏⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣀⣴⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⠾⠟⣛⢷⡝⢟⣳⢿⣽⢿⡟⡝⢻⣿⡿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢨⣀⢿⢧⠟⣏⡛⠻⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⢾⣷⢨⣪⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⠷⠄⢻⣿⠾⢿⢫⣾⣬⢿⣸⣿⡟⡒⢹⣱⣿⣛⠯⣿⢿⢟⣵⣾⢟⠿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢢⡌⣵⣿⡷⢿⣿⣿⣯⢣⣿⡯⣿⣷⣜⡲⣏⣿⣟⣷⢻⣿⢽⠿⣟⣻ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⢆⣼⣿⣿⣴⠂⠈⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⡿⢿⢋⣉⣥⣿⣽⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⠋ ⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠾⣒⣨⣿⣺⣿⣟⣾⣥⣀⠐ ⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠉⢻⡣⢾⣾⣯⣟⣫⣽⡿⠟⠁⢉ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣼⡿⣰⡾⣤⣭⣍⠁⠤⣴⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠓⠄⣉⣠⣤⣤⣀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡄⠚⠳⠂⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⢐⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

I am a TSLA bull

twitchquotes: If TSLA has million number of bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has ten bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has no bulls, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is against TSLA, I am against the world. I love TSLA till my last breath.
twitch chat
July 2020
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