[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Whoโ€™s Joe? Joe Momma

"Whoโ€™s joe?" a distant voice asks. Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location. The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar. โ€Joe Mommaโ€ฆโ€ the creature whispered. The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear. "I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
September 2021

Classic

I am a sub with cash

twitchquotes: Hey you poor, underage trash. ๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am a sub. Means I am a VIP. Means I got cash. ๐Ÿ’ต What you got? You got shit. ๐Ÿ’ฉ You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. ๐Ÿ’ฏ We subbed because we have cash. ๐Ÿ’ต Real life jobs, real life credit cards.
twitch chat
May 2019

plebs vs subs

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

The Dead Sea is one of the world's saltiest bodies of water

twitchquotes: The Dead Sea is a salt lake bordering Jordan to the east, and Israel and the West Bank to the west. It is also one of the world's saltiest bodies of water. It is 9.6 times as salty as the ocean.[6] This salinity makes for a harsh environment in which all but one animal can flourish, hence its name. The only creature that can live in such high salinity levels is Reynard. He is also the reason for the dead seas high salinity.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

If Harambe and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If harambe ๐Ÿ’ and my girl ๐Ÿ‘ง ๐Ÿ˜ both drowning ๐Ÿ˜ฑ ๐Ÿ‘‹ and I can only save one ๐Ÿ˜ค ๐Ÿ˜ฌ Catch me at my girl funeral ๐Ÿ˜” ๐Ÿ‘ป ๐ŸŒน with my dick out ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ†
twitch chat
August 2016

Emoji Pasta

Harambe

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