[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

FOR THE HORDE tank

twitchquotes: SMOrc █ █ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ............▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ ...........███████████████████] ...........◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤FOR THE HORDE
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

I just fired out why they call them Brokers

I just figured out why they call them ‘Brokers’
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021

SMOrc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣯⣽⣶⣶⣾⣕⣝⣧⣣⢫⡋⡿⠿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢖⢬⣍⠻⣿⣿⡜⢧⠑⣴⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⠐⠻⣿⣿⣟⣛⡻⠶⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢿⣿⣿⢙⠛⣃⠬⢄⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣚⣏⣴⢟⣟⠁⣰⠀⡇⣄⣽⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣶⡾⠿⢻⣿⣿⡛⠋⠁⣠⢏⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡘⡜⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⡿⣿⢻⡧⢀⡞⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣷⢁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⣼⣳⢿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⣶⣍⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠀⢶⠂⠶⠀⠄⠄⡤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠈⣿⣿⠟⠀⣰⡇⢀⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠉⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠼⠷⢿⣇⢸⣷⡀⣾⡆⣾⣷⠠⡿⠆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣽⣿⣷⣿⡿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣈⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣯⣭⣯⣭⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀
October 2020

A single Dongerbill can save a life

twitchquotes: Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ༼ ▀̿ ̿ ل͟ຈ ༽. For just one Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (◉_☢) ༼ ͝°ʖಠ ༽ ( ͡°ل͜ º) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] can save a life.
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

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