[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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SadKek

⣯⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠉⠈⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣇⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠛⠻⣽⠻⢦⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡉⠉⢿⣿ ⣶⠀⠐⠆⠀⠀⡾⢦⣬⠓⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠄⠀⢀⠠⡤⠁⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⣶⣶⣾⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡐⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣿⡍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠚⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⠷⠶⠤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣉⣙⣠⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠰⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸
ascii art
September 2020

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Hey guys I'll be playing HS today

twitchquotes: BrokeBack Hey guys I'll be playing HS today BrokeBack Watch as I play children cards and whine about RNG for 6 hours BrokeBack How fun and interactive! BrokeBack Please join the 5 dollar club for more amazing content BrokeBack
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

LCS sponsorships

I can’t wait to see TSM FTX take DIG QNTMPAY’s CISCO NEXUS after they win the GRUBHUB team fight and get a BUD LIGHT ACE at the RED BULL BARON. I can then tweet on the VERIZON 5G all chat during the ROCCAT REPLAY and STATE FARM analyst desk.
July 2021

sellout

League of Legends

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