[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with β€œyes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with β€œwhat’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022

krippO

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–‘β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘ β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2016
Kripp

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Arrested for Navy Seal copypasta

I've mentioned this a lot before, but one of my best friends from back home was arrested, jailed for three months, and sentenced to 2 years probation for sending someone the Navy Seal copypasta on Facebook. As of today, he is FINALLY legally allowed to be online again.
February 2019

Navy Seal

THIS IS PETA DONT MOVE LISTEN UP

twitchquotes: THIS IS PETA DONT FUCKIN MOVE LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU'VE KILLED TWO DOGS YOU TERRORIST PEPPERONI SCUM. PUT YOUR DONGER WHERE I CAN SEE IT ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½=/Μ΅/'ΜΏ'ΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing