[Copypasta] Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

American website, American computers, American game

twitchquotes: Europoors hating on USA βœ“ on a American website βœ“ with American computers βœ“ on the American invented Internet βœ“ watching an American made game βœ“ From a country that was liberated and protected by America βœ“βœ“βœ“
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

EU vs NA

Now playing Who Asked (Feat: Nobody)

twitchquotes: now α΄˜ΚŸα΄€ΚΙͺΙ΄Ι’: Who asked (Feat: Nobody) ───────────βšͺ────── ◄◄⠀▐▐⠀►► 𝟸:𝟷𝟾 / 𝟹:πŸ»πŸΌβ €β”€β”€β”€β—‹ πŸ”Š
twitch chat
February 2020

Classic

Who Asked?

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

It was a real life gamer girl

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. β€œfuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. β€œPlease,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?
August 2021

Simps

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing