twitchquotes:
Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How traders politely decline the second date
I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
WallStreetBets
i was raised to serve my wife
Halloween Mercy
twitchquotes:
😍Guys😍, I’m 😲shaking😲. I’m fucking😲 shaking😲. I never wanted to 👉👌🍆🍑breed 🍑🍆👉👌with anyone more than I want to with 🎃👻Halloween 👻✝️Mercy.✝️🎃️ That 💯perfect,💯 ⏳curvy ⏳😍body.😍 Those 😍bountiful😍 🍈breasts🍈. The 👪child 👪bearing😍 hips😍 of a 🖼️💐literal goddess💐🖼️. It honestly fucking 😳😳hurts😳😳 knowing that I’ll never❤👅💋mate ❤👅💋with her, ⬆pass⬆ my 👖genes👖 through her, and have her 👑birth👑 a set of 👪💯perfect offspring.💯👪 I’d do fucking💰💰💰 ANYTHING 💰💰
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Emoji Pasta
Overwatch
Reynad is the math teacher and I am a sexy lifeguard boy
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Reynad
Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica
twitchquotes:
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
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