twitchquotes:
Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
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What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Tiffany's chandelier
twitchquotes:
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
Moonmoon do it for yourself
twitchquotes:
Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, let’s say 🗣 hypothetically, you 👆, my mother 👪. Were to give 🎁 me, your 
son 🙎♂️, your credit 💸 card 💳 information 👌🏼. So I 👥 could make 🛠 a purchase 💲 of 500 💯 robux 👏 on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister 👱♀️ will have you 👆 believe 🙅🏻, I 👥 have done ✅ a very ‼ good 👌 job 🙆♂️🤵 of doing my chores 🧼, including 📲, but 🍑 not limited 🔒 to; The dishes 😳🍽👈🏼, the laundry and the taking 👊 out the trash ⛹️♀️👶🗑.
son 🙎♂️, your credit 💸 card 💳 information 👌🏼. So I 👥 could make 🛠 a purchase 💲 of 500 💯 robux 👏 on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister 👱♀️ will have you 👆 believe 🙅🏻, I 👥 have done ✅ a very ‼ good 👌 job 🙆♂️🤵 of doing my chores 🧼, including 📲, but 🍑 not limited 🔒 to; The dishes 😳🍽👈🏼, the laundry and the taking 👊 out the trash ⛹️♀️👶🗑.
Ben Shapiro
Angry Wojak / Soyjak comment
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You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.