twitchquotes:
Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
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I used to be a real ad
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βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββ βββββββββββββββββββ ββββββββ
I sexually Identify as an the sun
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and Iβm fucking retarded but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me βSolβ and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you canβt accept me youβre a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as
Lazy SCP writers be like
Scp-ββββ is a ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ foundation staff ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ D-3819 ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ among us ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ genitals were obliterated ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with βyes daddy, spank me harder!β (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with βwhatβs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?β
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donβt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeβs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donβt know if I can ever have sex again
Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST
twitchquotes:
β( Β° ΝΚΝ‘Β°)βBorn too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST! β( Β° ΝΚΝ‘Β°)β β amazW β krippW β trumpW β reynadW β kolentoW β bajW β dewW β emjaneW β forsenW β krippW β loidW β mitchW β reckW β sodaW β taymooW β PLEB TEST PASSED
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