[Copypasta] Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old"

twitchquotes: Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
twitch chat
November 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Donald Trump answers what is 2+2?

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you."
October 2016

Donald Trump

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€
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April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

nature has molded females to become a holy being

nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting ๐Ÿ’ฆ for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
October 2021

Simps

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