twitchquotes:
π YOU π IDIOTS π WILL π PASTE π ANYTHING π AS π LONG π AS π THERE π ARE π CLAP π EMOJIS π
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What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?
What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
Shrek
Navy Seal
i didnt fuck my cat emojified
twitchquotes:
iπββοΈdidnβt π« fuck ππ¦my catπΎ. i didnt π«cum ππ¦on my catπΌ . i didntβ put 
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
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Emoji Pasta
dont spell "amogus" backwards
dont spell "amogus" backwards
sugoma balls
Among Us / Amogus
Send nudes but fancy
Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
voting booth inspection is not required
twitchquotes:
So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
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