[Copypasta] I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

(ā–€ĢæÄ¹ĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

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Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

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Rick and Morty

You guessed it right, im 12 btw

twitchquotes: older than 11 haHAA turning 13 in may haHAA you guessed it right haHAA im 12 btw hahAA
twitch chat
September 2018

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Tired of Weebs? No problem!

twitchquotes: Tired of Weebs? No problem! Here at Weeb Deflectorsā„¢ we can shield your Twitch chat Queue from incoming Weebs with our new patent-pending WeebShieldā„¢ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming Weebs right back to the dark place they came from (definitely not HEARTHSTONE), causing them to effectively Spread their disease called anime to themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017

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Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

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Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing