twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I donβt know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itβs my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iβll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iβll walk around my house and pick up various different βtrinketsβ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like βIβll be having thatβ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (βtrinketsβ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iβm 99% sure they donβt know itβs me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
Classic
Confessions
ASCENDED invisible spam
twitchquotes:
ASCENDED invisible spam ββ ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β 
twitch chat
Classic
My Grandfather smoked his whole life
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
Classic
Secret Puerto Rican lover
twitchquotes:
Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is βmental abuse to humansβ? Well, lemme tell you one thing: βMathβ is an abbreviation for βmathematicsβ, so youβre only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for βexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsβ! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youβre not truly intelligent or cool! Youβre dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donβt forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat