[Copypasta] In Twitch Chat they don't say I love you

twitchquotes: In Twitch Chat they don't say "I love you", instead they say "OMEGALUL" which translates to "I watch you to not laugh with you, but at you" and I think that's really beautiful.
twitch chat
February 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My attraction for Thijs is purely platonic

twitchquotes: My attraction for Thijs is purely platonic. I want to wake up and smell his hazel hair pressed up against my cheek, then get up and make a delicious breakfast for us before I go off to work. Then when I get home I will play Hearthstone with him until we fall asleep together, holding hands and whispering each other's name
twitch chat
January 2019
Thijs

country roads stick figure dance

country roads 🤚 😣/ _/|| _/¯ ¯\_ take me home 👋 \ 😩 || \_ _/¯ ¯\_ to the place 🤚 😳/ _/|| _/¯ ¯\_ I BELOOOONG 😭 👊/||\_ _/¯ ¯\_
April 2021

There is no "random number generator" in any games

twitchquotes: I have a REQUEST: could you please stop saying "RNG"? There is no "random number generator" in any games. It's all PSEUDO-random number generator. So therefore it should be PNG or PRNG and not RNG. I am a mathematician, this is important to me, thank you. Using incorrect terms make you lose unprofessional and amateurish and make you lose credibility
twitch chat
April 2019

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

Ben Shapiro ordering pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut? Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not. Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah. Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet. Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you. Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style. And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
August 2021

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing