[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
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Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
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April 2020

Kurumx

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February 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red 🔴 📛 sus 💦 💦. Red 🔴 🔴 suuuus. I 👁👄 👁 said 🤠🗣 💬👱🏿💦 red 👹 🔴, sus 💦 💦, hahahahaha 🤣 🤣. Why 🤔 🤔 arent you 👉😯 👈 laughing 😂 😂? I 👁🍊 👥 just made 👑 👑 a reference 👀👄🙀 👀👄🙀 to the popular 👍😁😂 😂 video 📹 📹 game 🎮 🎮 "Among 🇷🇴🎛 💰 Us 👨 👨"! How can you 👈 👈 not laugh 😂 😂 at it? Emergeny meeting 💯 🤝! Guys 👦 👨, this here guy 👨 👱🏻👨🏻 doesnt laugh 🤣 ☑😂😅 at my funny 😃😂 🍺😛😃 Among 💰 💰 Us 👨 👨 memes 🐸 😂! Lets 🙆 🙆 beat ✊👊🏻 😰👊 him 👴 👨 to death 💀💥❓ 💀! Dead 💀😂 ☠ body 💃 💃 reported ☎ 🧐! Skip 🐧 🏃🏼! Skip 🐧 🐧! Vote 🔝 🔝 blue 💙 💙! Blue 💙 💙 was not an impostor 😎 😠. Among 😂 🙆🏽🅰 us 👨 👨 in a nutshell 😠 😠 hahahaha 😂👌👋 😂. What?! Youre still 🤞🙌 🤞🙌 not laughing 😂 😂 your 👉 👉 ass 🍑 🅰 off 📴 📴☠? I 👁 👁 made 👑 👑 SEVERAL 💯 💯 funny 😀😂😛 😃❓ references 👀👄🙀 📖 to Among 💰 💑👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩 Us 👨 🇺🇸 and YOU 👈🏼 😂👉🔥 STILL 🤞🙌 🙄 ARENT LAUGHING 😂 😂😎💦??!!! Bruh ⚠ 😳🤣😂. Ya 🙏🎼 🙀 hear 👂 👂 that? Wooooooosh 💦👽👾 💦👽👾. Whats 😦 😦 woooosh 🚁 🚁? Oh 🙀 🙀, nothing ❌ 🚫. Just the sound 👂 🔊 of a joke 😂 😂 flying ✈ ✈ over 😳🙊💦 🔁 your 👉 👉 head 💆 💆. Whats 😦 🤔 that? You 👈 👉 think 💭 💭 im 👌 💘 annoying 😠 😠? Kinda 🙅 🙅 sus 💦 💦, bro 👆 🌈☺👬. Hahahaha 😂 😂! Anyway 🔛 🔛, yea 😀 💯, gotta 👉 👉 go 🏃 🏃 do tasks ✔ 📋. Hahahaha 😂 😂!
twitch chat
December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

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May 2022

WallStreetBets

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