[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house

twitchquotes: Michael, this is Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house and killed Scarra. The legend says the one that carrys the mark of the donger on his forehead is destined to stop the dark lord. Please Michael avenge Scarra!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Reynad you are the biggest influence in my life

twitchquotes: Reynad you are the biggest influence in my life. Sadly I seem to have turned into a salt shaker, please no copy pasterino macarino
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

salty

FrankerZ

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£ β£€β €β£€β£€β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£€β£€β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£„β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⒀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⑄⠀ Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠋⠉Ⓓ⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑆ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣼⠁⠀⠀⒠⣀⣬⣇⣀⣠⑿⠋Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⑏ ⠀Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑄⠹⣿⣿⑽⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇ β €β €β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β € β €β €β €β ™β’Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ €β €β ™β ƒβ €β €β €β£€β£€β£€β‘€β €β ˆβ’»β €β €β €β ˜β’Ώβ Ώβ ƒβ €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒰⣿⣿⣿⣿⑆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠛⠛⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

Surprised face

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β– β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ
March 2015

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing