[Copypasta] I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper. Ever since I was a child I dreamed of stalking people in the dead of the night, making an erotic hissing noise, and then spewing my particles all over them. People say to me that a person being a monster in a dying Swedish pixel game is impossible and I’m more autistic than a Fortnite default, but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a doctor fill me with gunpowder and implementing green and black pigments into my skin. From now on I want you guys to call me "Creepus Explodus” and respect my right to appear on retarded children's backpacks and sweaters. If you can’t accept me you’re a mob-phobe and need to check your entity privilege. Thank you all for being so understanding.
twitch chat
March 2019

I sexually Identify as

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I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I don’t care, I can solo carry. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

I sexually idenfity as VapeNation

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as VapeNation . Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling the air with the fattest rips. People say to me that a person being VapeNation is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cloudchasers, coils, and a battery on my body for the perfect vape. From now on I want you guys to call me “Lit” and respect my right to rip the fattest vapes. If you can’t accept me you’re a vapiphobe and need to check your VapeNation privileges
twitch chat
March 2016

VapeNation

I sexually Identify as

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