[Copypasta] PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK

twitchquotes: EZ DrinkPurple PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: DrinkPurple I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 DrinkPurple And that is absolutely none of your business.I can DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ 4 ME DrinkPurple.
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I donā€™t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itā€™s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iā€™ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iā€™ll walk around my house and pick up various different ā€œtrinketsā€ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like ā€œIā€™ll be having thatā€ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (ā€œtrinketsā€ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iā€™m 99% sure they donā€™t know itā€™s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- Itā€™s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But hereā€™s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021

How to win any Internet argument

May 2021

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: Iā€™m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itā€™s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear ā€œweā€™re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasā€ while having sex my brain is ā€œyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatā€™s a shit load of jalapeƱos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heā€™s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upā€
twitch chat
May 2019

Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
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