[Copypasta] PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK

twitchquotes: EZ DrinkPurple PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: DrinkPurple I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 DrinkPurple And that is absolutely none of your business.I can DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ 4 ME DrinkPurple.
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

MoonMoon can you please stop feeding?

twitchquotes: Hey Moon, I'm currently watching the stream with my 5 year old son, now I don't mind all the cursing but can you please stop feeding? I don't want my son to learn how to suck at video games
twitch chat
February 2017
MOONMOON

Classic

Overwatch

Shame on you guys,copying and pasting like sheeps

twitchquotes: Is this seriuous,human race?This is what we have become?Shame on you guys,copying and pasting like sheeps,do you even read what are you copying,God have mercy on these poor souls,they know not what they do...
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022

As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness

twitchquotes: As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness. "Valor, I get this feeling that QT won't ever play with us again." The bartender turned around. "Here's a drink on the house," said Urgot. "I know the feeling."
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing