[Copypasta] Service dog approaches you

twitchquotes: If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Tuck Frump

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014
Forsen

THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (╬ ΰ² η›Šΰ² ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (╬ ΰ² η›Šΰ² )
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager?

twitchquotes: Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager? And I'm referring to a Don Han'Cho'd, Blessed Champion'd Magma Rager, with a pre-nerfed Master of Disguise stealth, a Wee Spellstopper on one side, a Dire Wolf Alpha on the other side, an Ancestral Spirit, a Murloc racial tag, golden animations, a pre-nerf Blood Imp supporting it, with Windfury, Charge, Taunt and Divine Shield, Deathrattle: Replace your hero with the above-described Magma Rager?
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

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