[Copypasta] I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Copyright Infringement from using Copy Pastas

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Juan Pastoroni, CEO of Copy Pasta Industries. I'd like to let you know that we've just gained copyrights on a lot of copy pastas seen in this chat. If you are using them right now, please refrain from doing so, or risk being fined under copyright infringement. Thank you, and don't be funny and copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
July 2014
pr0lly

Raise your right and yell Kripp is a sellout

twitchquotes: 4Head RAISE YOUR ⎝ 4Head RIGHT HAND ⎝ 4Head AND YELL ⎝ 4Head KRIPP IS A SELLOUT ⎝ 4Head
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

When chat spam my kripp stream crashes

twitchquotes: Hey guys. I am living in poor family with low interneting and very cheap pc barely handle kripp stream at 5 fps and when chat spam my kripp stream crashes so please dont spam the chat thank you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

New positive chat with kripp'

twitchquotes: ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ ☑ “This guy's deck is well chosen!” ☑ "He had the skill and the heart of the cards!" ☑ “He drew into one of many possible cards that could beat me!” ☑ "He drafted well, played well!" ☑ “I gave the game my best, and that's all that matters!” ☑ “If I'm lucky, we can have another game soon!” ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Text-to-Speech Playing