[Copypasta] not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp and Tony Gambino Casino in Reno

twitchquotes: ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ ɢᴀᴍʙɪɴᴏ ᴄᴀsɪɴᴏ ɪɴ ʀᴇɴᴏ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴏғ ɴᴇᴏ─ᴘᴏʀɴᴏʀɪɴᴏs, "ғɪʟɪᴘɪɴᴏ─ʟᴀᴛɪɴᴏs sʜᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴊᴀʟᴀᴘᴇɴᴏs ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴇᴇ─ʜᴏʟᴇs ૩,"ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ϙᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ᴛᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴏ. ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟʟ, ᴀᴍɪɢᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

I am bullied for loving the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀᴛ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙᴜʟʟɪᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅs ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀʏ "ʜᴇ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ" ᴏʀ "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪs ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ". ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ. ɪ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴏɴ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀɴ OJ ʙᴏᴍʙ ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Albanian virus

twitchquotes: Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

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