[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Hello Kripp, this is your mother

twitchquotes: Hello kripp. This is your mother, I saw that "brofist" you just gave to one of your subscribers. Don't make me come to Athens and make you give him a better brofist. Haven't I taught you better fisting? Love always, mum
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The Rock: "cmon jabroni"

⣶⣿⣾⣷⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠃⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡘⣤⠀⢀⣾⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣩⠀⣦⡙⠟⠟⠛⢓⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣷⡗⠀⠀⠁⠒⠠⢀⢰⡿⠻⠼⠓⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣻⣿⡟⣯⣿⢋⣯⡟⣿⠏⠿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣇⡟⡀⠀⣹⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣦⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠐⢩⣿⣿⢟⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⡄⢰⡆⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⡄⠀⠀⢻⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠀⠀⠀⠈⢟⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠛⢷⡄⠀⠭⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣶⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢼⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⠓⠄⡀⠈⠢⠀⠀⠐⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2021

Pedo bear: come into my house

twitchquotes: __̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__come into my house ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing