[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Deez Nuts

⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢀⣀⣾⠏⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⠋⣴⡟⠋⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠘⣿⡄⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⢿⣾⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠀⠈⠻⠶⠶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠻⠶⠶⠿⠃
April 2022

I tried to go help

Damn saw this one guy getting beat up by 2 other dudes today so I tried to go help, didn’t stand a chance against the 3 of us.
March 2021

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

12-1 Cheerleaders

twitchquotes: ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁ This is the 12-1 Cheerleaders, Go Kripp Go! ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing