[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019

This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

CEO of Campbells Tomato Paste

twitchquotes: (▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripp i am CEO of Campbells Tomato Paste. This stream is now under my control i bought all rights to paste and pastarino products if anyone copy and pastes again i will sue you so dont copy and paste (▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Okuyasu Pose

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠲⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⡗⠔⡐⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣿⣠⠐⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠔⢺⣿⢛⣿⣿⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣤⡶⠡⣲⢀⡴⢟⡻⡛⠓⠴⡾⣷⣱⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣟⣏⢤⣽⣷⣦⣴⡴⠤⠄⣰⣶⣟⣏⣈⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡿⠙⠿⣷⣶⣤⠥⠦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣤⢚⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⢛⡨⣥⣤⡈⠙⢻⠶⠧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣾⣿⢿⣯⠹⣻⡝⣰⣷⣶⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡿⢿⣿⣻⣞⣿⠿⠷⢀⡔⢫⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣦⣄⣘⣒⣛⠶⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⢟⣷⣭⣽⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⢿⣿⣿⠯⠺⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢩⣿⣿⣿⣴⣮⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣋⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣽⠤⡬⠋⠙⢿⣦⣀⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⣛⣭⣿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠄⢀⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠧⠖⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
March 2020

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing