[Copypasta] My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneโ€™s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp and Hafu

twitchquotes: ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผฆ๏ผต๏ผŽ ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ ๏ผด๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผข๏ผฌ๏ผฅ ๏ผญ๏ผฉ๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผŽ ๏ผน๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ผ ๏ผน๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‡๏ฝˆ๏ฝ”๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‡๏ฝˆ๏ฝ”๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ผŸ ๏ผณ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ผจ๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ• ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ™๏ผŽ ๏ผฐ๏ฝŒ๏ฝš ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

thank you for slow mode

twitchquotes: thank you for slow mode. im an old man and chat scrolling so fast makes it hard to keep up. thank you again from a 56 year old veteran.
twitch chat
May 2019

Space Invaders

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called โ€œTalking Roby The Robotโ€, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words โ€œsing like dickโ€. The robot said โ€œsing like dickโ€. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnโ€™t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said โ€œsing like dickโ€. I was crying in fear, โ€œis this a nightmare?โ€ I asked. Roby said โ€œnoโ€. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: โ€œ666โ€. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donโ€™t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We canโ€™t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
February 2019

Fortnite

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