[Copypasta] My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneโ€™s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Urgot demands playtime!

twitchquotes: Dear Mr Rodriguez Qtpie. This is Urgot, the best ranged champion since Thresh ADC. I must confess that I find your consistant playing of other ADCs whilst neglecting me racist. Urgot demands playtime!! Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Salt can

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
November 2014

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit โœ” already won the game โœ” This lobbyโ€™s playing for second โœ” This is my last loss โœ” I win out from here โœ” My board is too lit โœ” HP is fake โœ” Iโ€™m about to spike hard โœ” Thatโ€™s a fake loss โœ” 20hp? Thatโ€™s 3 lives โœ” This game is over โœ” We win out โœ” We're actually scaling โœ” last loss โœ” it's a fast 9 โœ” going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Florida Mayhem McDonald's

twitchquotes: Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

The default dance is truly a masterpiece

twitchquotes: The ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿปdefault dance๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿป is truly a ๐Ÿ–Šmasterpiece. NeverโŒin all of history๐Ÿ•–๐Ÿ•—๐Ÿ•˜๐Ÿ•™๐Ÿ•šhas such an artistic masterpiece๐Ÿ–Š ever been created. The choreography๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป is possibly the most beautiful๐Ÿ˜ sight๐Ÿ‘€ ever beheld by the human๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ eye๐Ÿ‘. The sharp ๐Ÿ”ชsound of the SLAP๐Ÿ‘ when the playerโ€™s hands๐Ÿ‘ collide perfectly ๐Ÿ’ฏ with the beat of the song ๐ŸŽต sends a bone chillingโ˜ ๏ธ shiver down my spine, every single time ๐Ÿ•˜I hear it๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป. I find my self watching ๐Ÿ‘€my in-game ๐ŸŽฎavatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปfor hours๐Ÿ•ง on end.
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing