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Salty tofu
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Kripp
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
twitchquotes:
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
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MingLee
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Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland
Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land.
Win - We dinnae want ye here
Tae - Yer nae hard enough
Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc)
Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment
Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin
Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us
sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter
It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices
Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie
Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye
If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land.
Fuck off hame any English cunts.