[Copypasta] Muffins the dog in love with cats

twitchquotes: I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Having trouble climbing the ladder this season

twitchquotes: Hey Andrew, it's your mother. I have noticed that you are having trouble climbing the ladder this season and wanted to let you know that there is this website called Tempostorm.com that will help you get to legend. The nice man in the video said that you could stay ahead of the meta and becsome legendary.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Donald Trump vs Biden

Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency. Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign. Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals 😏👌🏼
January 2021

2020 US Election

Chibi LeBlanc

⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢾⣟⣯⣿⢯⣿⢯⣿⢯⡿⠯⠛⠋⠉⠠⠄⠠⠈⢀⠠⢹⣟⣿⡽⣟⢿⢾⢿⡿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣽⢿⡾⣟⣯⡿⠫⠉⡀⠂⠐⠈⡀⠂⡈⠠⠈⢀⠄⡈⢿⡷⡯⡺⡪⡽⣕⢟⢮⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣟⣿⣻⢿⠉⠡⠐⠄⠄⢈⠄⡁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄⢀⠸⣿⢯⢝⢮⢳⢝⡽⣕⢷⢝⡮⣳⢝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⢿⣽⣯⣿⡇⢁⠄⡁⠐⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠂⢁⠈⡀⠂⠠⠄⠹⣗⡝⣎⢯⡳⣝⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣟⣷⢿⣞⣷⡀⠄⠠⠈⡀⠂⠐⢀⠁⡈⠄⠄⡀⠂⡁⠄⠠⠓⣝⢎⣗⢽⡪⣗⡽⣺⡪⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣽⡾⣟⣯⡿⣇⠄⢂⠠⠄⡈⠄⠄⡂⠄⡁⢂⠐⠠⠐⠄⡂⠠⠱⠣⠳⠝⠮⠳⠝⠞⡮⣫⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣳⣿⣟⣯⣿⢿⡄⠂⠠⠁⠠⠈⡀⢂⠁⢂⠠⡈⠠⠈⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⣜⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡽⣟⣾⣯⢿⡾⣟⣷⠄⡁⢈⠄⢡⢰⡰⣢⣳⠄⡯⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣠⢤⣖⢾⡹⣝⢞⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣟⣷⡟⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢗⣗⢽⣕⢗⠄⡼⢝⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢯⡳⣕⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⣁⣓⢽⢵⣳⠏⣕⣒⠒⡆⠄⠄⡁⠄⠐⠄⢸⢮⡳⣝⣞⢽⢕⡯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⢿⡇⠄⠂⣻⢊⢰⢾⣻⣽⣿⣳⢰⢲⡃⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠄⠄⠉⠌⠨⣁⡻⣪⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣳⡿⣾⢷⣿⡚⢁⠄⠄⣸⢽⢽⣾⣻⣯⣷⢿⣾⣽⣽⠁⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠈⡤⣳⢽⢕⡯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣽⡿⣾⣻⣷⡄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⢾⡷⣾⢿⡷⣿⢾⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⢌⢯⡺⣕⢯⡺⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⣷⣿⣻⣽⣾⢀⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⠋⠛⠛⣋⣍⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠐⣜⣗⢽⣕⢯⣺⢳⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣟⣖⣭⣝⠷⠯⣾⡿⣦⣀⠃⢀⣀⠶⣿⡽⠿⠆⠂⠄⡀⣾⡰⣝⢜⢮⢮⡳⣕⢯⢮⡳⡳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣽⢷⣾⡃⢀⡄⠉⠙⠋⠄⢄⣻⣿⡗⢰⣾⣿⣷⠄⡁⠄⣿⡯⣪⡫⣺⢕⡯⣺⢝⡵⣫⢯⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⡿⣷⢿⣟⣿⢷⣾⣄⣷⢿⠁⣯⢇⣿⣷⣿⠇⢀⢀⠂⠸⣯⣪⢺⡪⣗⡽⡮⣳⢽⡪⣗⢗⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣻⢿⣽⣯⡿⣷⣻⣽⠏⢀⣿⢸⣿⣿⣯⠄⡠⣸⡆⠠⠑⣕⢗⣝⢞⢮⡫⣞⢵⡫⣞⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⡿⣾⢯⣿⣻⢷⣯⡿⣯⡿⠁⡈⠙⡿⠘⠿⠟⢛⣁⡠⠘⢿⣆⠄⠘⠵⣕⢯⡳⡽⡺⣕⡟⡮⡮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣯⣷⢿⣻⡷⣿⢯⡟⠄⢪⣴⣄⠠⣠⣾⡿⣟⣇⢠⠘⢿⣀⣡⣬⡺⣕⢯⡫⡯⡺⡮⡯⣺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣾⣻⣟⣯⣿⣻⣟⠃⣴⣾⢿⣻⣧⠪⣷⡿⢛⣩⣴⡶⡈⢷⣫⡳⡯⣳⢝⡮⡯⣫⢞⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣽⡾⣯⣿⣽⡾⣯⡟⠄⠿⣾⢿⣟⡎⠂⠉⣶⢿⣻⡽⠋⡀⠄⢞⣜⢮⣳⡫⣞⣝⢮⢯⡺⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⠇⠄⠠⠄⡙⠙⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠈⢮⣺⡪⣞⡵⡳⡽⡵⣝⣞⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠐⡀⠐⢨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣦⣌⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠳⣝⢞⢮⢯⡳⣝⢮⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠂⠠⠈⣿⣇⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣮⡀⠄⠡⣀⠄⠘⠹⡵⣳⢝⡮⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⣀⣿⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠂⣯⡫⣖⣖⢮⣳⣝⢮⣏⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⣶⡲⣖⡎⠄⣼⣻⡻⣻⣪⡻⡯⣟⢯⣟⢯⢯⠰⡱⣝⣞⣮⣟⣞⣞⣵⣳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣵⣥⣜⣷⣕⣯⣳⣳⣽⣝⣞⣗⣽⣽⣝⣵⣯⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦
twitch chat
June 2020

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing