[Copypasta] I have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
July 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

SLEEP TEST

twitchquotes: SLEEP TEST 🛏 IF YOU TOUCH THE BED , GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Chat Test

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Entire screen goes gray ever 30 seconds

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hello Kripp, Flute Guy here. TUTURURU

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｆｌｕｔｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
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Text-to-Speech Playing