[Copypasta] I have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
July 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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My best friend is racist

So I met him today and asked him: "Hello, my best friend, are you racist?" And he replied with: "Yes, I'm racist" I was shocked. So I asked him back: "You racist?" He said: "Yes, I'm actually racist" To comprehend him, I asked: "Why are you racist?" He answered with: "Because I'm racist" I made sure: "Racism?" He replied: "Yeah, racism" I shout out: "Oh no" He just: "Yeah" And I'm just: "That's so racist" He: "Racism"
October 2021

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called “Talking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words “sing like dick”. The robot said “sing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said “sing like dick”. I was crying in fear, “is this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said “no”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: “666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

Don/ Pepperoni, captain of the anti-riot police

twitchquotes: ᕼEᒪᒪO TᗯITᑕᕼ ᑕᕼᗩT, ᗪOᑎ ᑭEᑭᑭEᖇOᑎI ᕼEᖇE, ᑕᗩᑭTᗩIᑎ Oᖴ TᕼE ᗩᑎTI-ᖇIOT ᑭOᒪIᑕE. ᔕTOᑭ ᖇIOTIᑎG ᖇIGᕼT ᑎOᗯ, Oᖇ YOᑌ ᗯIᒪᒪ ᗷE TOᑭᗪEᑕKEᗪ. YOᑌ ᕼᗩᐯE ᗷEEᑎ ᗯᗩᖇᑎEᗪ. ᑎO ᑭᑌEᖇTO ᖇIᑕO ᑭᗩᔕTEᖇIᑎO ᗪE ᑎIᖇO TᗩᖇEᑎTIᑎO
twitch chat
April 2014

Hearthstone

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