[Copypasta] You have been gifted FREE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

twitchquotes: ────────────────────────────────── TwitchVotes You have been gifted EMOTIONAL TRAUMA and PERMANENT ANXIETY. Type Sadge to activate──────────────────────────────────
twitch chat
August 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Underswap Frisk

░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░ ░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░ ░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░██░░░ ░██░░░░░░██░░██░░░░██░░██░░░░░░██░ ░██░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░██░ ░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░ ░██░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░██░ ░██░░░░██░░░░██░░░░██░░░░██░░░░██░ ░░░██░░░░██░░░░████░░░░██░░░░██░░░ ░░░░░██░░████░░░░░░░░████░░██░░░░░ ░░░░░░░████░░████████░░████░░░░░░░ ░░░░░██░░▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒░░██░░░░░ ░░░██░░░░██░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░██░░░░██░░░ ░░░██▒▒▒▒██░░░░░░░░░░░░██▒▒▒▒██░░░ ░██░░░░██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██░░░░██░ ░██▒▒▒▒██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██▒▒▒▒██░ ░██████████░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████░ ░██░░░░████████████████████░░░░██░ ░░░████████████████████████████░░░ ░░░░░░░████████████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░████████████████░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░████████████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░░████░░░░░░████░░░░░░████░░░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░
ascii art
September 2018

heart been broke

heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊
July 2020

Emoji Pasta

Infinite Cum Part 2

Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity. “You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room. “Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos. “You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.” “How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity. “You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity. By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.” “Will I not die?” “You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist” … Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you. Months pass. The cum accelerates. Then years. The cum accelerates. Then decades. The cum accelerates. Then centuries. The cum accelerates. Then eons. The cum accelerates. No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity. The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased. Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth. Their plan was flawed.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing