[Copypasta] You have been gifted FREE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

twitchquotes: ────────────────────────────────── TwitchVotes You have been gifted EMOTIONAL TRAUMA and PERMANENT ANXIETY. Type Sadge to activate──────────────────────────────────
twitch chat
August 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020

TheIlluminati emote circle

ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  BuddhaBar  SmoocherZ  KevinTurtle ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  TooSpicy ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  ANELE ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  PogChamp ᅚᅚ  TheIlluminati ᅚᅚ  CoolStoryBob ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  DansGame ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  cmonBruh ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  DatSheffy  Kreygasm  WutFace
twitch chat
June 2016
Forsen

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Tik Tok

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April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing