[Copypasta] it's okay take monday off

twitchquotes: It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. :)
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

Fallen is a tactical geniu

twitchquotes: Fallen is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic of "going B and then lose vs eco. He also has a second little known tactic of "Going A and then throw a 1v4" What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL for sure.
twitch chat
March 2020
gafallen

CSGO

I hate esam and want to suplex him

twitchquotes: Esam put Ken as a low tier. Listen you bald normie, just because he takes brain power to play efficiently unlike your Braindead main Pikachu doesn't mean he's bad. I actually hate esam and I want to suplex him.
twitch chat
April 2019
pgESAM

Super Smash Bros

Fedora the Explorer

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, Fedora the Explorer here, moderator of /r/hearthstone. I am here to tell you that reddit is now your enemy because you missed legal.
twitch chat
March 2015
Reynad
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