[Copypasta] it's okay take monday off

twitchquotes: It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. :)
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

NaM googly eyes

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣍⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡩⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢷⣝⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠉⠂⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠄⠂⠛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠸⣿⣼⡏⠁⠄⠘⢻⡛⢓⡛⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠏⠃⠄⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢻⣾⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣽⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠙⢉⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2019

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy 🦃 Thanksgiving 🦃! Guess what 😯❓it’s that time ⏰ of year 🗓 to gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 up ⬆️ those dicks 🍆 chicks 🐥 and bicks 🤨 (big dicks) 🍆😫😫😫😫 I bet 😏 you’re all 😤😤😤 HORNY-copia 🌽 🥔🥕🌶🍆♋️👀👉👌 for SKANKS-giving 🤪😔🤤🤤😃😁😁 you’ll be saying 💬 thanks 🙏 for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK 🥳🥳🥳🥳 send this to 🔟 of your thiccest sluts with those hot 🥵 hot 🔥 tasty 🤤😋 peach pies 🥧 🍑 😏😏 if you know 🤔 what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹‍♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩‍👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut

I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out-pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out-pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. M-mom, dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi-" a single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out-pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty county road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out-pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.
May 2021

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

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