[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Your copypasta is not good enough

twitchquotes: If you are posting the same copypasta more than once every few minutes, it means that your copypasta is not good enough to be self sustaining, and therefore is subpar. Either step you game up, or just gtfo and let real chat experts do their work.
twitch chat
September 2015
Reynad

VisLaud

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡤⢶⣿⣻⣶⣏⡟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣧⣾⣵⠾⠟⠋⢉⣉⣉⣉⣀⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣤⠄ ⠄⣸⡿⠿⠋⢹⠉⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠗ ⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠃⠄⢠⣄⣤⣤⣶⡾⠉⣉⠄⠄ ⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣴⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣯⡁⠈⠙⡟⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄ ⠸⣷⡆⢀⣤⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⡿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠃⠙⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠺⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡐⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⣀⣀⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴏᴛʜʏ. ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ . ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇғᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ** (ง'̀-'́)ง
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing