[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

This guy's DDOS is crazy

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's DDOS is CRAZY!” ☑ “My ISP can't win against a DDOS like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely this IP to win" ☑ “He used the only DDOS site the that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect program” ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I streamed that perfectly"!!!
twitch chat
January 2015

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

im not homophobic, just extremely racist

Hi i got suspended from reddit for the "what are you fucking gay" comment and just wanted to say that it was a joke and i thought that it could obviously be seen as one but i guess it wasnt. So yeah im not homophobic, just extremely racist, sorry if i made you feel bad, all my homies are allies of the lgbtq community. idek if you reported it maybe you got the joke but better safe than sorry and all that
July 2021

would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked?

twitchquotes: PLEBS Have you for one second indulged yourself, your mind, your brain to think that the shit you just spew could be taken as an advice/ backseat/ tip which is ON ALL CAPS in the title telling you against it. Now when you’ve contemplated well on this thought, would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked? PogO
twitch chat
May 2021

MUST BE EU

twitchquotes: SeemsGood NO LOGIC SeemsGood DOESNT UNDERSTAND IMMIGRATION SeemsGood WATCHING NA GAME SeemsGood ON NA WEBSITE SeemsGood MUST BE EU SeemsGood
twitch chat
August 2017

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing