[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020

later dweebs

twitchquotes: wow! almost 16k people sitting inside watching some dude play video games on Memorial Day LMAO. bout to hit the pool with some dime I matched on tinder and her friends to play beerpong. she wants me so bad its not even funny haha. not gonna smash til i get something to eat tho cause sex kills gains. have fun watching the stream i guess lol. later dweebs
twitch chat
May 2018

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021

Jebaited

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⢷⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠼⠟⠛⠄⠠⣭⡙⠋⠉⠄⠄⠚⠟⠋⠃⠐⠸⢟⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣤⣤⣶⠈⢷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⠆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣍⠉⠻⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⣾⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣸⡿⣩⣟⣿⡦⡲⣿⣿⣿⡿⠙⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣏⣉⠉⠛⠢⠈⣻⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠄⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣷⣴⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing