[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
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I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY

twitchquotes: I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY, after they won the GRUB HUB teamfight. Maybe they can get those HONDA turrets, too! After they win the game, I can go tweet to get on their VERIZON all chat during the STATE FARM analyst desk
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June 2021
LCS

League of Legends

sellout

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
August 2021

Smirk

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⠝⠋⠁⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠉⠙⠙⠙⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⠙⠋⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠉⠒⢮⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⠞⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡶⡶⡶⡷⣿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠓⠗⠗⠟⠞⠟⠷⢷⣯⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣽⡿⠟⠟⡛⠛⠛⠛⠋⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢴⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠃⢀⣷⣈⢿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡰⣿⡿⣁⣿⡅⠄⠄⠘⢀⣿⣿⠦⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣦⣦⣦⣦⣦⣦⣵⣥⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣼⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣡⣡⣉⣌⣡⣉⣌⣡⣡⣡⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Furry

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠉⠻⣷⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⡶⠟⠋⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣤⣾⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⢀⣠⣴⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⣷⣀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣦⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⢾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⡀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣻⡗⠀⠰⣛⣍⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀⢰⢧⡻⢎⠿⠆⠼⣏⠻⣣⠀⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢡⠀⢠⣶⠖⠃⠐⠂⠀⠈⠉⢉⠀⢀⡄⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡠⠒⠛⠻⣮⠈⣿⣦⡀⠰⡷⡇⠀⢀⣽⣂⣿⣇⣿⣇⠀⣀⡤⠤⢀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣞⠀⠀⠀⡀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠛⡳⠦⠖⠀⡘⣿⣿⠃⢻⣿⣿⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂ ⠀⢸⡟⢀⠀⢸⡇⣿⢿⣿⠟⠑⠑⢄⠀⠀⡾⠟⡏⠀⢸⠀⠃⠀⣰⡖⠀⠀⢀⢸ ⣰⠀⠃⢸⠆⢼⣷⠙⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠓⠎⠆⠀⠈⢲⣤⡄⠀⢰⡿⢃⣴⣶⣼⡏ ⣿⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠀⡾⣅⣀⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⡄⣠⡾⠛⠉⣿⣦⡿⠇⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⢀⡷⠀⠸⡇⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣦⣼⡅⠀⠀⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀
July 2020
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