[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β–β–β–β– β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

This guy's chat is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis guy's chat is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy mind can't bear seeing retards like that” β˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely those two copypastas to infuriate me" β˜‘ β€œHe pasted the only ASCII that could annoy me” β˜‘ "He used the perfect emotes" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could do but ignore” β˜‘ β€œI copied that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Donald Trump said to Trump

twitchquotes: Donald Trump said to Trump while playing Trumps, β€œdid u Trump…Trump?” He replied β€œNo Trump I didn’t Trump while playing Trumps…Trump”, Trump then said β€œsounded like a Trumpet Trump, or did u do a Trump Trump that sounded like a Trumpet playing Trumps…Trump”, He replied β€œHey is that Brian Kibbler, Kibbler Brian of Brian Kibbler Gaming…Kibbler Kibbler Brian Kibbler…?” Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp

twitchquotes: If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp 4Head If Kripp was a leaky pipe he'd be nl_Dripp 4Head If Kripp didn't wear a shirt he'd be nl_Nipp 4Head
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing