[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
https://www.reddit.com/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/smpah0/wife_wants_to_leave_me/
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Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called β€œTalking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words β€œsing like dick”. The robot said β€œsing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said β€œsing like dick”. I was crying in fear, β€œis this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said β€œno”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: β€œ666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021

Now my mom calls us sussy bakas

My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
June 2021
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