[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Obama

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April 2021

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018

Kirby with gun

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October 2018

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

Angry emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠓⠿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠞⠋⢁⡀⠤⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠠⢀⠢⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠽⠛⠃⣀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⠤⠤⠄⠈⠀⠑⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⡁⠁⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⡿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣫⠤⠔⠚⠛⠒⠒⠚⠛⠯⠙⠢⡕⠈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡇⠘⡄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠠⢴⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠚⠦⢀⣀⣧⠤⠔⠒⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡁⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠄⣴⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠁⢀⠤⠒⣉⡥⠴⠖⢛⡯⣍⠉⢉⠤⢤⡀⢀⠬⣍⢉⠿⢿⣦⡀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠠⣡⢴⡟⠓⠦⡀⣰⠃⠀⠈⠳⠁⠀⠀⠻⠃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠷⠓⡀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣾⠣⡾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠀⣀⣼⣆⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢠⠤⠐⠶⠂⠐⠒⠈⢹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢾⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠄⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢰⣠⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⠴⠟⢋⡁⠾⠿⠋⠙⠻⠋⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⣠⠏⠀⡸⠀⠀⢸⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠤⣤⣀⣼⡷⠞⢁⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⣤⣀⠀⣰⣡⣴⠖⠻⣕⠀⢺⠻⠊⠁⠀⣠⣾⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⢧⡴⠛⣆⣠⠖⢄⣀⣞⣉⣲⡾⠵⠚⠋⠉⠐⠈⠀⠉⠛⠓⠀⠀⠒⠒⠿⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣩⣥⡄⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠁⠉⠀⢀⣠⣌⣷⣖⣤⣄⣀⠘⠻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣻⣿⣷⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣆⣬⣘⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣛⣿
July 2022
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