[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Where were u when USSR fell?

twitchquotes: Where were u when USSR fell? I was in gulag tourturing prisoner when t-34 tank came "Stalin is kil" "Nyet"
twitch chat
January 2020

HOW TO GET SPAGHETTI OUT OF NINTENDO SWITCH urgent !!!!!

hi guys long story short i tried asking my friends and everything and nobody is helping i got mad at smash bros so out of anger i threw a bowl of spaghetti on my dock and i think a noodle got stuck in the top because it got pushed in and so i came here because everybody else is ignoring me so i thought maybe somebody out there that did the same thing has some advice please help my last resort is having to send this to nintendo because that cost money and is scary to mail it out
June 2021

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. What’s gotten into you? You’re better than this.
August 2021

Pepe flex

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⡶⠿⢘⣥⠢⠐⠗⣹⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣅⣂⠹⣪⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⢭⡻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⣭⣧⣾⡿⠿⡋⢅⡪⠅⣢⣿⡿⠟⢁⣶⣶⣶⣤⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄ ⢠⣴⣿⣿⣟⣤⣤⡉⠭⣑⡨⢔⣊⣵⣶⡿⠛⢉⣴⡾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣦⡀ ⣼⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⢰⢰⠌⣻⣭⣭⣶⡷⣠⡤⠶⠾⠛⢓⣒⣮⣝⡻⠸⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣝⢶⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢏⣸⡄⢻⡿⣿⣟⣵⠶⢛⣛⣛⣛⡒⠦⣝⠿⣿⣦⡙⣿⡿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣜⡿⣿⣄⢓⡘⠃⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⣶⣅⢺⣿⡇⠻⠁ ⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣷⣾⣝⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣛⣿⡟⣢⢻⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⣦⣵⡾⢃⣾⣿⣿⢱⡿⣸⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣛⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⠇⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠲⣝⣫⣓⡙⣿⣜⣛⣛⣛⣻⡯⠹⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⢻⡈⢿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

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