[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

January 2021

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking dick felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.

A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".

April 2021

Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! I ᴀᴍ Dᴀɴ Gᴜʟ, ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴢᴏᴏ. Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪᴄ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ 24 ʜᴏᴜʀs, ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ sʜᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ. I'ᴍ ʙᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.

twitch chat

November 2014

Reynad

Trollge face v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⢉⠩⢍⡙⠛⠋⣉⠉⠍⢉⣉⣉⣉⠩⢉⠉⠛⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠂⡠⠑⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠐⠁⢊⠀⠄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠄⣴⡪⠽⣿⡓⢦⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⢖⣻⣿⣒⣦⠀⡀⢀⣈⢦⡀⠀ ⣰⠑⢰⠋⢩⡙⠒⠦⠖⠋⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠘⠦⠤⠴⠒⡟⠲⡌⠛⣆ ⢹⡰⡸⠈⢻⣈⠓⡦⢤⣀⡀⢾⠩⠤⠀⠀⠤⠌⡳⠐⣒⣠⣤⠖⢋⡟⠒⡏⡄⡟ ⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⠻⡙⡿⢦⣄⣹⠙⠒⢲⠦⠴⡖⠒⠚⣏⣁⣤⣾⢚⡝⠁⠀⣨⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠙⢧⡀⠈⡟⠛⠷⡾⣶⣾⣷⠾⠛⢻⠉⢀⡽⠋⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢤⡠⢂⠌⡛⠦⠤⣄⣇⣀⣀⣸⣀⡤⠼⠚⡉⢄⠠⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠮⣔⡁⠦⠀⣤⠤⠤⣤⠄⠰⠌⣂⡬⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ascii art

July 2021

Kripp's blood salt level is at a dangerous high

twitchquotes: Hei Kripparina, Dr. Enrico Salterino here. Your blood PJSalt

level has reached a dangerous heigh. Reduce the PJSalt

level immediately or face severe health implications. PLZ COPYPASTERION to save Kripparians life!!

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

A reply to 'k'

Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo

Trollge face v2

Kripp's blood salt level is at a dangerous high

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