[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

It's not gay if it's ANIME

twitchquotes: IT'S KappaPride NOT KappaPride GAY KappaPride IF KappaPride IT'S KappaPride ANIME KappaPride
twitch chat
July 2017

KappaPride

Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden

The results ๐Ÿ“ˆare in and our gurl ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป sanders is out ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ. Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden. He's cumming ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ to DOMINATE๐Ÿคผโ€โ™‚๏ธ our HEAD of state ๐ŸŠ and his bitch๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ mike pence. He may be a donkey but he's big as a horse ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿด and is ready to touch ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜ˆ the hearts ๐Ÿ’žof all Americans ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. Cum erection day ๐Ÿ—ณ y'all sluts better fill that hole ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ next to biden and relaseโœŠ America's aching ๐Ÿคคthrobbing ๐Ÿ˜ฎ desire for green ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘energy, a ban ๐Ÿ›‘on those naughty big black guns๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ, and more money to pay๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ธ those slutty nurses ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ to make us all feel better ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฅด. Cum ๐Ÿ’ฆ hoevember help the needy ๐Ÿ‘…๐ŸงŽ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ by supporting big daddy Biden ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณand naughty Nancy๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ and give dirty Donald ๐ŸŽฉ, bitch McConnell ๐Ÿข, and those filthy ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ reSUBlicans๐Ÿ˜ blue balls๐Ÿ”ต. Send to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your most deviant ๐Ÿ˜ˆdemocrats. If you get 5๏ธโƒฃback ur a Biden bitch ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ต. if u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ u will spend a hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ Decemberโ›„๏ธnight with those skanks at the ERECToral ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ† college ๐Ÿ›.)
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Joe Biden

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