[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Bitcoin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣥⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠘⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

DON'T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS ROOKIE

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO ROOKIE, DON’T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS 📞 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

WIFE TEST

twitchquotes: WIFE TEST 👩 IF YOU TOUCH THE WIFE , GO TO CHEAT 🏆 ⎝ forsenCD / 🏆 
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW
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