[Copypasta] Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020
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3% off of everything except my forehead

twitchquotes: Reynad ran crying out of the house. Knowing something was wrong, Frodan ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Frodan asked Reynad. Reynad replied with tears in his eyes, "Everyone was making fun of me." "Why?" Frodan said. Reynad barely eked out the words, "I can use promo code TEMPO to get 3% off of everything, except my forehead."
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

Quit my job from the burritos factory to play League

twitchquotes: Dear Qtipie Im Osvaldo Enchilada, Im from a very far away country named Mexico (the bornplace of fabbby) and I really want to become a pro, like you, Im gona quit my job from the burritos factory, and start playing, Im in silver IV but I will be challenger, and be a hero to my 7 childs, god bless and never stop burning those marijuanas boy.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

I despise any streamer that isn't MOONMOON

twitchquotes: I despise with a burning acidic passion any streamer that isn't MOONMOON. Every night I print out an 8.5 x 11" picture of a streamer that is not MOONMOON and wipe my ass with it.Honestly, anyone who watches any streamer except forMOONMOON deserves to be tarred, and feathered, then burned at the stake. That's how fucking much I HATE stramers. (Besides MOONMOON, of course).
twitch chat
March 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

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