[Copypasta] Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
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November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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How to prank your school principle

Step 1: Go to his office Step 2: distract him Step 3: Put a fish on his desk Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk" Step 5: Break his kneecaps
June 2021

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022

Disgrace to all Morosans

twitchquotes: Ｏｃｔａｖｉａｎ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒａｎｄｐａｒｒｉａｎ， Ｉ ａｍ ｃｏｎｔａｃｔｉｎｇ ｙｏｕ ｆｒｏｍ ｂｅｙｏｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｇｒａｖｅ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ａ ｄｉｓｇｒａｃｅ ｔｏ ａｌｌ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎｓ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｒｅｃｅｎｔ ｓｗｉｔｃｈ ｔｏ ｂｅｉｎｇ ａ ｃａｓｕａｌ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ Ｍａｓｅｒａｔｉ
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March 2014
Kripp

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December 2020
cyr
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