[Copypasta] Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I accidentally ran over my wifeā€™s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming itā€™s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didnā€™t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didnā€™t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I donā€™t know what to do, Iā€™m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoā€™s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyā€™ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendā€™s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heā€™s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnā€™t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherā€™s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iā€™m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

How will this affect Rick James?

twitchquotes: Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and my brother was taking a shit. I don't know why he didn't lock the door, but before I could leave he asked me to grab him a roll of toilet paper. As I was handing it to him he jumped up and smacked a hand full of shit across my face...How will this affect Rick James?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Is this chat filled with parrots?

twitchquotes: Is this chat filled with parrots? All you guys do is copy what the person above you wrote. Please have some originality and contribute to a smarter chat.
twitch chat
August 2014

I hate Twitch Chat

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