[Copypasta] Ben Shapiro sings the South Park theme song

So lets say, hypothetically, that I was going down to South Park to have myself a 'time'. In this hypothetical situation, there are friendly folks who are completely devoid of temptation. Now, because I am going down to South Park, it is safe to assume that I would be leaving my woes behind. Now, hypothetically, when I arrive, there is ample parking during both the hours of the day and the night, and the media would be saying "howdy neighbor." OK liberal, now that we've established that, lets say next that I was to head up to South Park. I would then, hypothetically, be testing to see if I would be able to unwind in South Park. I would also like to mention that, as a conservative white male, I find large female genitalia to be very attractive. So, I will finish off my argument by stating that the liberal media should come on down to South Park and meet some acquaintances of mine, including my wife (who is a doctor).
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

I used to be a real ad
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Ben Shapiro sings Rick Roll

Lets say, hypothetically, that we were not strangers to love, and lets say, you knew the rules and so did i. And if you thought of a full commitment, you wouldnt get this from any other guy, right? Then hypothetically speaking, i just want to tell you how im feeling. Now lets say i gotta make you understand. Now that we've established that im never gonna give you up or let you down. Am i not correct? You would never run around, and desert you. And i, as a balcony, think that i wouldnt make you cry, so i must be the one to never tell a lie, and hurt you This would mean that, we've known eachother for so long, and logically, your hearts been aching but, youre too shy to say it. which would proceed with both of us knowing whats been going on. Which didnt make sense, we know the game, in a way that we're gonna play it. Yet, if you ask me how im feeling, seeing as you shouldnt say that youre too blind to see
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didnโ€™t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as thereโ€™s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that youโ€™ll never know if you donโ€™t go, nor you will shine if you donโ€™t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, youโ€™re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so letโ€™s say hypothetically, these werenโ€™t the droids youโ€™re looking for. You see, the droids youโ€™re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids youโ€™re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids youโ€™re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these arenโ€™t the droid youโ€™re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, letโ€™s say ๐Ÿ—ฃ hypothetically, you ๐Ÿ‘†, my mother ๐Ÿ‘ช. Were to give ๐ŸŽ me, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ son ๐Ÿ™Žโ€โ™‚๏ธ, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ credit ๐Ÿ’ธ card ๐Ÿ’ณ information ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ. So I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ could make ๐Ÿ›  a purchase ๐Ÿ’ฒ of 500 ๐Ÿ’ฏ robux ๐Ÿ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ will have you ๐Ÿ‘† believe ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป, I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ have done โœ… a very โ€ผ good ๐Ÿ‘Œ job ๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคต of doing my chores ๐Ÿงผ, including ๐Ÿ“ฒ, but ๐Ÿ‘ not limited ๐Ÿ”’ to; The dishes ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ, the laundry and the taking ๐Ÿ‘Š out the trash โ›น๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

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