[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning 🌄, masculinity 💪🍆👀 is NO 🚫❌ LONGER 📏 LEGAL 🌍⚖. If you 👈 are masculine 👴, please 🙏🙇‍♂️ report 📄 to your 👈🏼 nearest 💞 Femboy 👗💁‍♂️ Education 🎓 Center 🏢✈, clean-shaven and wearing 👕👖👞 thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow 👣 these orders 📑🎁 WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😡.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

mizkifHalt

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⢀⡀⢰⣦⢀⣠⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣶⡄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠭⠶⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⢱⣬⡙⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠃ ⣀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣝⣛⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⡒⠢⠭⠤⢹⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣦⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣓⣘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Seagull looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Seagull begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Seagull releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

KappaPride

Overwatch

You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a 中二 level was a worthwhile 使い方 of お前's time, but one can't expect that an individual as 羞耻 as テメ will ever know the value of the 仲間 you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are すごい キモい by you. Thousands of years of 自然進化 have allowed 侍 to identify 偽物語 from mannerisms and 言語力 alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a 野良犬 somehow passes as normal (しないよ、ど阿呆), any Soul Eater person will immediately 両断 all 迷い when they 聞く the 声 and 広島-ben of someone who is not only a basic 下忍 at best, but worth no more than ゴミカス in skills, accomplishments, and no ワイフ yes フレンド. You will never be 幸せおちゃめ機能。 You wrench out a 偽笑い and www草 to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own 船長, as you project your disgusting traits onto your 委員長. However, deep inside you feel the 不安 creeping up like a 桜, ready to crush you under the バスト2三一 Zz ガンダム, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new リスナー in which to be 無視, and not even the exotic trait of being 海外ニッキ makes up for just how uninteresting of a 無言赤スパ you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold はあちゃま. Your ママ will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable 恥ざらし and ゴミカス死ね. They’ll bury you with a 妖怪 marked with your 領域展開, and every 上弦の鬼 for the rest of eternity will know a 黒船 is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ギルザレン that is 語り部幽霊. This is your 運命. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. 憎い yourself and 謝れ for being リア充 to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world

Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
July 2022

Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon. "Never lucky", he says. "I wouldn't say that", says a voice to his side. Reynad rolls over and to his surprise, it's a hot grill. "Wow! How did I manage this?", he asks. "You are very persuasive", purrs the grill. "What's your name?" Reynad asks. "Chat calls me Scamaz", Scamaz laughs as he pulls off his wig.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing