As of this morning π, masculinity πͺππ is NO π«β LONGER π LEGAL πβ. If you π are masculine π΄, please ππββοΈ report π to your ππΌ nearest π Femboy ππββοΈ Education π Center π’β, clean-shaven and wearing πππ thigh-high socks π§¦. Those who fail π« to follow π£ these orders ππ WILL BE CANCELLED βπ·π‘.
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Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"β₯β₯β₯β₯ you β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
I charted your LP for the last month
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π q-qt, I charted your LP for the last month...
π q-qt, I charted your LP for the last month...
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League of Legends
I heard-a you-a guys-a like-a da pasta!
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(Β° ~ΝΚ~ Β°)I heard-a you-a guys-a like-a da pasta!(Β° ~ΝΚ~ Β°)
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Trick2g
ππMERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHESππ!!
ππMERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHESππ!! Now that itβs finally DICKmas π
π¦Santaβs about to slide π
πΎπ down your hot π₯ hot π₯chimney tonight. So lick π¦πthose juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnogπΌ, itβs about to get wet down at Santaβs workshopππ! Donβt forgot to slide down that XXXtra π
πΎπ
πΎ big North Pole, and make sure your πͺ cookie πͺis yummy enough for Santa to eatπ! π But are you bad enough to handle Santaβs giant juicy 8=candyππΌCOCK=Dπ¦?? Send this to π of your baddest bitch elvesππΌππΎ If you get 5οΈβ£ back, youre on the naughty list this yearππ¦! If you get π back you better be ready for Santaβs hot β¨οΈCUMlateβοΈπ¦π If you get 2οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back youβve got the most bitchin π¬peppermint π¬pussy in the North Pole! βοΈβ Hope you get to blow π¬ lots of XXXmas πdick, and that you get lots of XXXmas πCUMMIES ππ HAVE A SLUTTY π¦ππ
DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! π
πΎπ
πΏπ
π½π
πΌ
Emoji Pasta
Christmas
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monkaS BUTTON
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