[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning πŸŒ„, masculinity πŸ’ͺπŸ†πŸ‘€ is NO 🚫❌ LONGER πŸ“ LEGAL πŸŒβš–. If you πŸ‘ˆ are masculine πŸ‘΄, please πŸ™πŸ™‡β€β™‚οΈ report πŸ“„ to your πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ nearest πŸ’ž Femboy πŸ‘—πŸ’β€β™‚οΈ Education πŸŽ“ Center 🏒✈, clean-shaven and wearing πŸ‘•πŸ‘–πŸ‘ž thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow πŸ‘£ these orders πŸ“‘πŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😑.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. β€œWhat?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. β€œI want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, β€œI want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. β€œUh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

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Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€
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