[Copypasta] Drunk at Applebees

I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I am financially ruined

I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. I’m too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I can’t even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
December 2020

WallStreetBets

GME to the moon

.           ✦             ˚              *                        .              .            ✦              ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍                  ,       .             .   ゚      .           ☀️if we hold  . ,       .                                             .           .             .                                                        ✦        ,               🚀 gme        ,    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍               .            .                                             ˚        ,                                       .                      .             .               *            ✦                                               .                  .           .        .     🌑              .           .  ˚                     ゚     .               .      🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,                * .                    .           ✦ ˚              *                        .              .
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Stock space rocket

.           ✦             ˚              *                       .              .            ✦              ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍                  ,       .             .   ゚      .             .       ,       .                                  ☀️                                                        .           .             .                                                                                        ✦       ,          [stock ticker]🚀        ,    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍               .            .                                             ˚            ,                                       .                      .             .               *            ✦                                               .                  .           .        .     🌑              .           .              ˚                     ゚     .               .      🌎 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,                * .                    .           ✦             ˚              *                        .
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.” “Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing