I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Damn missed the TSLA pump
Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
WallStreetBets
I just smashed my TV because of the SPY
I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.
WallStreetBets
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp 🐟
Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴
Jeff Divorcedzos 💔
Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈
Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳
🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒
Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS
Jack Ma MIA 🤷♂️
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️
WallStreetBets
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.”
“Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?”
Stonks only go up.
But you don’t.
WallStreetBets
Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.