[Copypasta] Drunk at Applebees

I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

GME to the moon

.           ✦             ˚              *                        .              .            ✦              ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍                  ,       .             .   ゚      .           ☀️if we hold  . ,       .                                             .           .             .                                                        ✦        ,               🚀 gme        ,    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍               .            .                                             ˚        ,                                       .                      .             .               *            ✦                                               .                  .           .        .     🌑              .           .  ˚                     ゚     .               .      🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,                * .                    .           ✦ ˚              *                        .              .
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.

Yesterday I said we’d see a rally like we’ve never seen before I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts. My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully I’ll make something. Somehow oil also tanked. Fuck you all. I’m only listening to myself now. You’re all retarded and so am I for listening to you. Edit: not sure why some of you degens think I’m blaming you. Of course it’s my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards See you tomorrow
March 2022

WallStreetBets

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election

Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing