Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
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Stock space rocket
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WallStreetBets
HODL
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WallStreetBets
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheβs humming a song you canβt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. βWhat do you want for Christmas?β You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. βNothing, really.β
βNothing?β She crawls into bed and touches your leg. βAre you sure?β Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyβll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, βWhatβs wrong?β
Stonks only go up.
But you donβt.
WallStreetBets
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
WallStreetBets
GME revamp
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.