Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
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I need Tesla to go $3k eoy
Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
WallStreetBets
Daily stock prayer
Time for our daily prayer:
Our calls, Who art in PLTR,
Perfect be Thy Timing.
Thy tendies come.
Thy expirations be done,
on earth as it is in Wall Street.
Give us this day our daily Lambos.
And forgive us of our puts,
as we forgive those who buy puts against us.
And lead us not into Debt,
but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
WallStreetBets
I challenge you to “Turtle King”
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴.
Dual me, I’m 4-0.
WallStreetBets
Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter
But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
WallStreetBets
Google employees complaints
Reading Google employees complaints about workplace is like watching Becky cry on social media how her life's ruined when she only got a new Hyundai for graduation instead of the audi she asked.
Bitch give me that 300k job and I will deal with "my voice not being heard" all day every day.