Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
If Apple opens super green tomorrow
If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
WallStreetBets
My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said βdirtier!β So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said βdirtier!β So I said βIβm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iβm gonna put it in long and deep. Iβm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.β
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weβre getting a divorce.
WallStreetBets
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
WallStreetBets
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp π
Elon TechnoCuckLord π€+π€΄
Jeff Divorcedzos π
Salmonella π Nutella π«
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman π€‘
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya π
Ryan Cocken your butthole π₯π¦ πππ³
π₯ Z π₯ U π₯ C π₯ C π₯
Tim π Bottom π
±οΈENIS
Jack Ma MIA π€·ββοΈ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the π»s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πβοΈ
WallStreetBets
Solar energy stocks at night time
Itβs nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them