[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs

twitchquotes: (ง╭ರ_•́)ง Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs, foul Moderinos (ง╭ರ_•́)ง
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

$19 Fortnite card

Ok.. $19.00 Fortnite card. Who wAnts it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember: SHARE. SHARE SHARE. ..and Trolls... DON'T GET BLOCKED!
March 2021

Fortnite

Shotgun Pepe

⡏⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⣀⡀⠄⠹⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⢈⡄⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣧⠘⢹⣦⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣷⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⣙⠟⠉⠉⠙⠋⠉⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⣀⠄⢠⣀⠄⡨⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣇⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠈⠋⠄⠄⣠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
January 2019

Pepe

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing