[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

2 games 1 stream

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Twitch Staff. We have noticed that you are trying to become a hardcore player again, since you broke the laws of physics and play 2 games on 1 stream, when the laws of physics clearly says: "How can there be 2 games, when only 1 channel?". We hope that you will stop this, and become a casual player again. Please don't repost this. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

forsenD

⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣧⣡⣤⡴⠖⣒⣂⠄⡉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⡇⢴⡌⡀⢨⣤⡡⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣦⣤⡤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⠈⢻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⣿⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⢡⣬⠉⣑⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣧⡀⠻⢿⣯⣷⣭⣀⡈⠄⣿⣷⣦⡻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣉⣉⠄⠹⠋⢀⣀⣴⣶⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣵⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⠴⣩⠾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣺⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⢿⣾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣽⣅⣴⣎⠠⠔⣂⣖⣆⣒⣖⡢⠶⠶⡢⢄⠄⢿⣧⡈⠻⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠂⠠⠠⠠⢭⣩⣭⣭⣴⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⠄⣤⣀⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⡀⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⡀⣾⡿⠛⡁ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠏⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠫⣠⣾⡇ ⠿⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⠇
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020

This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: HELLO AM 48 YEAR MAN FROM SOMALIA. SORRY FOR BAD ENGLAND. I SELLED MY WIFE FOR INTERNET CONNECTION FOR PLAY "hearth stone" AND I WANT TO BECOME THE GOODEST PLAYER LIKE YOU I PLAY WITH 400 PING ON BRAZIL SERVER AND I AM RANK 23 ALREADY PLS NO COPY PASTE MY STORY
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing