[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle

twitchquotes: As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

AMOGUS (youtube video)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢠⣦⡀⣤⣠⡄⢠⠦⡄⣠⠤⠀⣤⠀⡆⣤⣶⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠟⠻⠃⠏⠉⠇⠸⠶⠋⠻⠾⠇⠙⠒⠃⠘⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠦⣀⣶⡶⠀⢤⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡲⠶⣶⣤⣔⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠃⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⠤⠄⠀⠀⢀⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠸⠦⣠⠘⠁⢨⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠑⠤⠤⠔⠚⢥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⣀⡀⠉⣻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

You've been gnomed 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⢹⣿⣏⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡛⠛⢛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠛⠿⠛⠻⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣽ ⣇⣀⠄⣀⡀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⢿⠿⠟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿
November 2018

monkaHmm

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣩⣵⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣅⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄ ⣠⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣫⣭⠉⠍⠉⣛⠿⡘⣿⠿⢟⣛⡛⠉⠙⠻⢿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣍⠄⣡⣬⣭⣭⣅⣈⣀⣉⣁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣩⣵⣾⣿⣿⣯⣙⠟⣋⣉⣩⣍⡁⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢼⣿⣯⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠷⠶⢶⣬⣭⣭⣭⡭⠭⢉⡄⠶⠾⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⡻⠿⠷⠶⢶⣶⠞⣼⡟⡸⣸⡸⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⡆⣾⠟⡴⣱⢏⡜⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣙⡒⠦⠭⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⡋⣶⡜⣟⣸⣠⡿⣸⠇⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⡆⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣸⠉⣷⠄⠄
June 2020

Pepe

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