[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I just smashed my TV because of the SPY

I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.
March 2022

WallStreetBets

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

The Tuck Frump movement started in 1944

twitchquotes: The Tuck Frump movement started in 1944 as a splinter group of the French Resistance. Though initially suppressed by the Nazi superweapon "U-Boat mode", the movement gained strength as the war went on. Today we honor the brave veterans that stood against facism with their rallying cry, Tuck Frump.
twitch chat
January 2015
Trump

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: οΌ‘οΌγ€€ο½™ο½…ο½ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…γ€€οΌ€ο½ο½”ο½γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½…οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½’ο½ο½•ο½‡ο½ˆγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½… ο½ο½ο½”ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½…ο½…ο½”ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‹γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½…ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½…ο½Œο½“ο½…γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½” γ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½•ο½γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½…οΌŒγ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½Žο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½ο½ ο½•ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½“ο½ƒο½’ο½…ο½…ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½•ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ ο½•ο½ο½ο½ο½Žγ€€IcefrogοΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆγ€€ο½ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½’γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‡ο½… ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½—γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½„οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½•ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½ƒο½‹ γ€€οΌ³ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½’ο½…ο½“ο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½…ο½”ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”'ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½…ο½ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½Œο½… ο½“ο½“οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…ο½Žγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½Œο½ο½ο½‹γ€€ο½ο½Žγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆοΌο½•ο½ο½„ο½ ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½ƒο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½™ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½†γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½Œο½…ο½…ο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

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