[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

LS aka "Lost Sight"

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sight" is a blind LCK coach, commentator and streamer who has achieved Korean masters using echolocation through clicking and poker chips. He enjoys streaming in low light environments to reduce the light energy transfer which interferes with his methods.
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August 2019
imls

League of Legends

Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017

VisLaud

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡤⢶⣿⣻⣶⣏⡟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣧⣾⣵⠾⠟⠋⢉⣉⣉⣉⣀⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣤⠄ ⠄⣸⡿⠿⠋⢹⠉⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠗ ⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠃⠄⢠⣄⣤⣤⣶⡾⠉⣉⠄⠄ ⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣴⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣯⡁⠈⠙⡟⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄ ⠸⣷⡆⢀⣤⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⡿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠃⠙⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠺⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡐⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⣀⣀⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019

Kappa dab

twitchquotes: < Kappa /
twitch chat
May 2017
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