[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

America as a nation can be defined as a single word

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden
April 2022

Joe Biden

This guy's chat is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis guy's chat is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy mind can't bear seeing retards like that” β˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely those two copypastas to infuriate me" β˜‘ β€œHe pasted the only ASCII that could annoy me” β˜‘ "He used the perfect emotes" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could do but ignore” β˜‘ β€œI copied that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this After jerma's recent apology video, it seemed like the only thing he cared about before going live was his looks. He came onto stream and honestly seemed slightly drunk. He proceeded to spend time talking about how fun it was to 'woohoo' death. He used another term, but due to me actually caring about the people here, I decided it's better to censor myself. He did briefly apologize for the Amelia situation, but that twitlonger she wrote really exposed the absolute horror of being stood up and finding your date in bed with the reaper of souls himself. I think the worst part of the apology was how he kept saying "that isn't who I am" but proceeded to fall asleep once again at the end. Also I'm fairly certain he was still on the toilet. I heard a few weird noises. I really hope this psycho gets banned. p.s. I'm starting to think the 'jerma speared and killed a man' conspiracy theory may have had been real.
March 2022
Jerma985

Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky?

twitchquotes: (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Call on me! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Yes little Dong? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Kripp is never lucky, sir! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Wrong, Kripp is lucky a reasonable amount of time. Come see me after class for your punishment . Κ•βŒ Ν‘β–’ ͜α΄₯ Ν‘β–’Κ”
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Running dog

β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β•²β–•β–‹β–•β–‹β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–”β–”β–”β–†β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β•±β”ˆβ•°β”³β”³β”³β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β•²β•±β•²β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–•β–”β•°β”β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ–”β•²β•²β•±β•±β–”β•±β–”β–”β•²β•²β•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β–‚β•²β–‚β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing