[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Kapp

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November 2020

I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hello Imaqtpie! I was wondering how small streamers...

twitchquotes: Hello Imaqtpie! I was wondering how small streamers such as you (I dont mean to be rude or anything) look up to huge and successful streamers such as Lee "Faker" sang-hyeok?
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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