[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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Bowling simulator: E-Bowler

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡟⢉⠁⠈⡻⠘⠏⠀⠹⢛⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡞⢿⡄⠀⢻⡴⣇⣀⣷⣴⢄⢀⡖⡾⠁⢀⣼⢛⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠈⠙⢦⣿⣶⠞⠋⠉⠁⣀⣄⡀⠉⠙⠻⢦⣾⣵⠟⠉⢠⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣯⣙⠷⣄⡴⠋⣤⣤⣤⠀⢸⡏⢉⣿⠀⣠⡤⣤⡘⢷⣤⡴⣛⣹⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣄⠀⠉⢛⡿⠁⠘⣧⣀⣼⠃⠀⠙⠛⠁⠀⢿⣄⣸⠇⠀⢹⡟⠉⠁⢀⣄⠀ ⠀⡾⡙⣛⣳⣾⠁⠀⡀⣀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⡀⡀⠀⢿⣶⣛⣋⣻⠀ ⠀⠉⠈⠉⠈⡹⠀⠸⠁⠙⣷⠀⠀⢸⡏⠉⣷⠀⠀⢰⠉⠈⣣⠀⠸⡉⠉⠉⠉⠀ ⠀⣿⠛⣛⣻⣿⠀⠈⠛⠙⠁⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠉⠀⣼⣽⣛⡛⣹⠀ ⠀⠘⠟⠉⠁⣘⣧⠀⢀⡶⠛⢶⡂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠟⢳⡄⠀⢰⣏⠀⠉⠙⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⡶⢛⣭⠟⢧⡈⠷⠶⠾⠁⢰⡏⠙⣷⠀⠻⢦⠾⢃⣴⠿⢯⣛⢳⡶⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠻⠟⠁⢀⡴⣿⢶⣄⡀⠀⠈⠛⠚⠋⠀⢀⣠⡴⣾⢷⣄⠀⠹⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣏⣴⠏⠀⣸⠟⠝⠓⠶⠶⠖⠛⠛⣯⠀⠘⢷⣙⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣶⣏⣬⠁⠀⣥⢠⠆⠀⣰⣘⣷⠄⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠘⠳⠾⠛⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ CORONAVIRUS IS HERE CHAT monkaW
March 2020

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Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!

twitchquotes: Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Daddy’s little tidepod

i'm daddies wittle tide pod hehe (ꈍ꒳ꈍ)i'm all squishy and wet for daddy! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧ he loves how my bitter taste nuzzles his taste buds and my Botanical Raintm scent!!!! (。・ω・。)but he knows how im not meant to be eaten...(´・ω・`)waaah!!! dont eat all of me daddy( ;∀;) hehehe my soap-pussy is so wet >///< 1 lick 2 lick 3 lick 4... no more daddy i'll break~(●///▽///●) hehe i'm daddies wittle tide pod so wet and squishy =w=
September 2021

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Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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