[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

Among Us mini crewmate sitting

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣼⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⢉⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⣿⣿⣇⣀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020

Among Us / Amogus

A spare I guess

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I bought two bundles of asparagus today. I only needed one but the other can be 'a spare i guess'.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Mocking SpongeBob

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠔⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠄⠈⢊⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠈⠍⡅⠆⠪⠄⣀⣀⡠⣀⣀⣠⡤⣀⡠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣮⠲⣿⠿⠦⣠⣴⣿⠘⣻⣧⣤⡠⠛⠛⢄⠐⠑⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⠵⠧⠟⠬⠭⣵⣶⣿⣻⡿⠠⠭⠝⣻⡥⠔⠪⡙⢠⣶⡕⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢘⠟⣗⣠⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⡐⢫⣉⡍⠂⠀⣋⢿⣿⠏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠧⣫⣄⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⢀⣤⡑⡀⠻⣢⠀⣶⠈⣆⠔⠒⠲⠕⡇⣇⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠻⠗⠀⢀⠌⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠘⠿⡣⠁⠀⡇⠓⠙⣁⠃⠀⠀⡠⠃⢡⣞⢳⡑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⣒⠥⠊⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠭⠑⠊⠆⡔⠘⢢⢹⣿⡤⠔⣾⣿⢿⡘⠖⣱⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⣀⣠⠔⠁⡆⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢌⡍⠚⣾⢌⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡠⣾⠿⠛⣋⣉⠭⠄⠀⢴⣿⠿⠆⠀⠸⣀⡒⢪⢌⠀⢹⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢀⠊⠭⠔⠚⠭⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠀⠀⣘⣂⠾⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⣿⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⣮⢄⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⣆⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠨⣽⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2022

Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectors™ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing