[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You leave me little choice, evil mods!

twitchquotes: <::::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You leave me little choice, evil mods! Face me!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hank from Breaking Bad

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠸⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡧⢕⠂⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠏⠃⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣴⣴⣄⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⠌⣻⣦⣤⡀⢀⣤⡠⢔⡀⢀⣀⣉⢻⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⠋⡟⠙⠛⠚⠘⠋⢉⠁⠈⠙⠋⠃⠿⠟⠛⠩⠹⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡎⡐⠙⠓⠚⠉⠠⣾⡆⠀⢰⠀⠒⠒⠒⠂⡀⢺⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⡤⠔⡎⠂⠀⠈⡖⣀⡀⠀⠀⠨⠄⢿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⣿⣧⣠⡖⠁⠀⣿⣧⣀⣀⣠⣷⠀⠉⢦⣤⣤⣷⡗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣸⠉⠛⢿⣶⣄⡨⠻⢿⣿⣿⣅⣄⣶⣾⠿⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣦⠀⠀⠈⠻⢍⠙⠉⠋⠋⠉⡿⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠞⣦⠀⢬⢧⣄⣀⡁⠉⣀⣠⡽⠁⠀⡼⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣧⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⢠⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⡄⠈⠀⠀⢀⢀⣤⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠶⠼⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡱⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠟⠛⠁⠄⠂⠀⠓⠋⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠜⢖⣁⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣐⢠⣴⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣛⠿⠻⠉⠯⣉⠠⠹⠚⠺⠿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⡿⡿⣿⣷⠆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡟⠻⣋⢉⣉⠁⣀⢀⣄⣠⣄⡀⠀⣉⣉⣙⠻⢻⣿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣾⡏⠑⠓⠉⢉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⠑⠚⠓⢛⣾⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡿⠻⠠⢤⣔⣼⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣲⣄⠀⠘⠻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣧⠀⣀⠟⠃⠡⣿⠿⠞⠽⣿⠈⠛⣶⣀⣇⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣾⣯⠃⢠⣴⣦⠀⠀⣠⣴⣦⡀⠘⣿⡷⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣾⡇⢠⡿⡿⠻⠁⢠⠸⠻⢿⢷⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠊⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣤⣀⠃⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣬⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣦⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⡿⡛⢟⢶⣶⣽⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⢶⣴⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021

SCP logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣩⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⠃⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡙⣿⣿⣿⢦⡀⢣⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡿⠀⡯⠊⣡⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣧⡉⠺⡄⢸⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢷⠀⡠⢺⣿⣿⡏⣰⣿⣿⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣯⠢⡀⢸⠀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢸⠊⣠⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣦⠈⢺⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⠹⡆⠀⣴⢻⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠳⡀⢀⡇⢸ ⣿⡀⠹⣸⠉⣿⣿⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠟⢋⣀⢠⣾⣿⣷⡀⣀⡙⠻⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣈⠻⣿⣿⡄⠹⡜⠀⣸ ⣿⢧⠀⠇⢠⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣟⣁⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣠⣉⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⡿⢧⠀⠁⣰⢿ ⣿⡌⢷⡄⣾⠀⣿⣿⣷⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡇⢸⢀⡴⠃⣼ ⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣌⠿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⠟⣼⣿⡿⢫⠃⢸⠋⢀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣶⣄⡀⢸⡀⢻⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣶⣍⣙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠁⣸⢀⣴⣶⣯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣧⠀⢯⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⠃⢠⢷⣛⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣁⡈⢧⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⢋⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⠉⠉⠉⣀⣀⡭⠟⠛⢛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⠛⠛⠩⣥⣀⣈⢁⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⡛⢉⣁⣀⣤⠖⣫⣴⣿⣿⣷⣬⡙⣦⣤⣀⡈⣉⣩⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

Teaching him how to throw so well

twitchquotes: Hey xQc my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.
twitch chat
October 2018
xQcOW

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing