[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(▀ĖŋÄšĖ¯â”œâ”Ŧ┴â”Ŧ┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Walter White Heisenberg

âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋâ ŋâ ŋâ ŋâ ŋâĸŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉â ģâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀âĸēâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠜âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâ ŋâ ŋ⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉â ģâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâĄâ â €â €â €â €â €âŖ€âŖ âŖ¤âŖ¤âŖļâŖļâŖļâŖļâŖļâŖĻâŖ¤âĄ„â €â €â €â €âĸ€âŖ´âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâŖ„â €â €â €âĸ âŖžâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĸŋ⡧⠇âĸ€âŖ¤âŖļâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖžâŖŽâŖ­âŖŋâĄģâŖŊâŖ’â €âŖ¤âŖœâŖ­â âĸâŖ’â ĸâĸ°âĸ¸âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŸâŖžâŖŋ⠂âĸˆâĸŋâŖˇâŖžâŖ¸âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŊâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâŖļâŖžâĄŋâ ŋâŖŋ⠗⠈âĸģâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋâ ģ⠋⠉⠑⠀⠀âĸ˜âĸģâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋ⠟âĸšâŖŋâŖŋ⡇âĸ€âŖļâŖļâ ´â ļ⠀⠀âĸŊâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋ⠀⠀âĸ¸âŖŋâŖŋâ €â €â Ŗâ €â €â €â €â €âĄŸâĸŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋ⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹âŖŋâŖ§âŖ€â €â €â €â €âĄ€âŖ´â âĸ˜âĄ™âĸŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ ⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙âĸŋâ —â ‚â „â €âŖ´âĄŸâ €â €âĄƒâ €â ‰â ‰â ŸâĄŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀âĸˇâ žâ ›â ‚âĸšâ €â €â €âĸĄâ €â €â €â €â €â ™â ›â ŋâĸŋ
April 2022

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Athens Police arrests two Twitch streamers

twitchquotes: Today Athens Police arrested two men, famous on the internet site Twitch. This "Trump" and "Kripp" were having sex in public, over what seemed to be the dead body of a cat that was backstabbed. Both men referred to the dead cat as "Caterrian". Their one phone call was made to the leading salt exporter "Reynad". More news at 10
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

I use this chant to summon Sneaky

twitchquotes: ╰( ͥ° ͜ʖ ͥ° )つ──☆ãƒģīžŸ My di ck is small, my butthole is leaky, I use this chant to summon Sneaky ╰( ͥ° ͜ʖ ͥ° )つ──☆ãƒģīžŸ
twitch chat
March 2016
Sneaky

Minion Joker

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September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing