[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Reporting a streamer named "TSM_Kripp"

twitchquotes: Hello twitch admins. I am here to report a streamer named "TSM_Kripp". She is currently violating the new twitch rules, and is constantly moaning suggestively in her stream. I am trying to watch her game but she just keeps yelling "TOPDICK" or "INSANE" after she gets rekt. Please take action against her as soon as you can. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

As a MOTHER, I am OUTRAGED

twitchquotes: imaqtpie WHAT THE FUCK, where is your DAMN viewer age RESTRICTION?! This shit you put on your stream is too SCARY for kids, you need to warn people. As a MOTHER, I am OUTRAGED.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Eddy Pasterino and YouPorn wants to sponsor Reynad

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ʀᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! ɪᴛ ɪs ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴍʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ (ʏᴏᴜᴘᴏʀɴ) ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀʀᴅsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ᴀs ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇs. ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ɪɴ ɪᴛ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

i was raised to serve my wife

twitchquotes: call me old fashioned but i was raised to serve my wife. i clean the dishes and cook her food. i do whatever she says bc she is my wife and she makes the rules around the house. she owns me. i am her property. if she ever cheats on me it's bc i was lacking.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

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