[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Muffet from Undertale

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘ β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
March 2016

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021

Now Playing: Despacito

twitchquotes: ɴᴏᴑ α΄˜ΚŸα΄€ΚΙͺΙ΄Ι’: Despacito ───────────────βšͺ─────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ β €β–Ίβ–Ίβ €β € β € 1:17 / 3:48 β € ───○ πŸ”Šβ € α΄΄α΄° βš™ ❐ ⊏⊐
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

Torture dance 3

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β „β£ β£Άβ£Άβ£·β£Ώβ£Άβ‘Šβ „β „β£€β£€β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣢⣾Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣿⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘β β „β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£‘β£Άβ£Άβ£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣦⑀⣿⣿⣿⣿⑻⣿⣿⑯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β ‰β ™β ›β’›β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⑧⠄⠄⒠⣾⣿⣿⑿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£„β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⑿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£»β Ÿβ ˆβ »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣷⑀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ’»β£Ώβ‘Ώβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ‘―β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Έβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing