[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

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Trying to study the psyche of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: I Stayed up for months, trying to study the psyche of twitch chat, i reached insanity and couldnt come up with anything, but along the road i stumbled upon a far greater discovery, i found out that indeed, Kripp, IS BabyRage Never Lucky BabyRage
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April 2015
Kripp

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Reynad's peak performance in salt manufacturing

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad I am Terry Davison from the Texas Salt making factory. Our buisness would like to invest in your salt revenues as we have sensed a peak performance. Pls no pepper.
twitch chat
April 2014
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Time is tickling

Time is tickling ⏰⏰ SEND πŸ’ŒπŸ“² this 🀳 to TEN (πŸ”Ÿ) FESTIVE FREAKS πŸŽ…πŸΏπŸ‘―β€β™€οΈπŸ•Ί if u get πŸ”Ÿ BACK your a 🀀😏 STUFFED STOCKING SLORE πŸ˜πŸ§¦πŸŽπŸ’πŸ˜»πŸ‘€πŸ˜³ get 5️⃣ BACK and ur a 😈🐎😈 Horny Xmas Ham πŸ™ˆπŸ·πŸ€ͺπŸͺ΅πŸ”₯πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ but if u get 0️⃣ back 😡 u got a πŸ”₯ DRY CπŸ…ΎοΈAL CUNT πŸ§†πŸŒ΅πŸ˜°πŸ˜­πŸ˜±πŸ₯²πŸ‘
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