[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
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June 2016
Kripp

Breakdown of Kripp stream

twitchquotes: Breakdown of Kripp stream: โ˜‘ always 1 hr late โ˜‘ 20 minute intro โ˜‘ bit sleepy today โ˜‘ foodie time โ˜‘ constant salt/complaining โ˜‘ 1 hr of actual gameplay โ˜‘ ending stream early โ˜‘ no stream tomorrow
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May 2015
Kripp

Sadge brother letter

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“˜ ๐”€๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“น ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฌ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“ต๐”‚. ๐“˜๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“น๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท๐”‚ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฏ๐“ฝ
twitch chat
August 2020
Forsen

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGramโ„ข Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

GET BACK TO WORK Kripp shouts

twitchquotes: GET BACK TO WORK Kripp shouts into his bedroom closet! None of you get any lettuce until you read every Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube comment and respond to my viewers USELESS DRIVEL. 4 small chinese boys look up with tears in their eyes then get back to work. Your YouTube comment suddenly gets a heart.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing