[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Don't you guys feel any embarrasment?

twitchquotes: Don't you guys feel any embarrasment? Spamming chat all day, using emotes for everything, LUL this, WutFace that. You type the same copypasta, each one more absurd than the last one, over and over and over, like children. You people make me sick.
twitch chat
November 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

OVERWATCH LEAGUE T-MOBILE

twitchquotes: IN THE OVERWATCH LEAGUE. YOUR HYPING UP THE CHAT. TAKING YOUR TEAM TO #TRENDING. SPREADING MEMES AT TRACER LEVEL SPEED. ALL WHILE WATCHING US CAP THE POINT. SPEED LIKE THAT DESERVES A NETWORK THAT CAN KEEP UP. WITH T-MOBILE GET ALL THE OVERWATCH LEAGUE YOU CAN HANDLE. WITH COAST TO COAST COVERAGE. NOW YOUR ARENA IS WHERE YOU MAKE IT.
twitch chat
August 2018
OverwatchLeague

sellout

Overwatch

Saddam Hussein hiding spot v2

Saddam Hussein's hiding spot β”‚Entrance hidden by β”‚Bricks and rubble β–‚β–ƒβ–‚β–…β–‡β–…β–…β–‡β–„β–ƒ β”³ β•‘ β•‘β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β–” β”‚ β•šβ•— ╔╝ β”‚ β•‘ β•‘ β”‚Saddam 6ft β•šβ•— ╔╝ β”‚Hussein β”‚====o β•šβ•β•β•β•β”‚β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•— β”‚ β”‚β•‘@ β–‡β–…β–†β–‡β–†β–…β–…β–ˆ β•‘ β”· β”‚β•šβ”‚β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β• Air vent β”‚ β”‚Fan
July 2021

A dirty joke from the 1400s...

A dirty joke from the 1400s... In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. β€œLook also on the other side,” said the poor creature, β€œmy husband has sometimes taken that road.” From β€œThe Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini
May 2022

Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence :)
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing