[Copypasta] Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
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I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

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I am financially ruined

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Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election

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January 2021

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Stimulus talks going well in 2946

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