[Copypasta] Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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SadKek

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September 2020

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Mindless spam

twitchquotes: Mindless spam.Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products made by the Hormel Foods Corporation. Is mindless spam therefore precooked meat products with the brain left out? Or maybe it's the repetitive commenting withought the use of any cerebral capacity? YOU be the judge
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ɪ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ʜᴇ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴇᴛ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴇᴇᴘᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɢᴏʟᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sɪᴛs ᴏɴ ᴛᴏɪʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴇs ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴀᴅ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ғᴏᴏᴅ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴇᴀᴛs ᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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