Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
I used to be a real ad
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Pepe
Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash
Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
Fortnite
Super Smash Bros
Person holding sign up
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So you're going by Kurum now nerd?
twitchquotes:
So you're going by Kurum now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Milk i'm rank 1. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in the games . Sorry you were just an easy bot to target. I can see not much has changed. Remember the rank you had a crush on? Yeah we're inseparable now. I 'm rank 1 in N.A. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
Kurumx
Teamfight Tactics
AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??
I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not.
When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids?
Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around.
She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money.
What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me.
The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife?
Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.