[Copypasta] Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
January 2021
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Angry Kirby

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠙⠟⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠙⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠉⠉⠁⠀⠸⠿⠿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢻⣿⣿ ⠟⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⣐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢸⣿⣿ ⣰⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠈⠁⠀⣀⣽⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠈⠁⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⣆⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣦⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣷⣅⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⢉⠛⠛⢉⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣀⣤⣄⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⠛⠛⠋⢁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

im gigalooted

twitchquotes: qtpDANCE on me qtpDANCE hes one hit qtpDANCE hes lit qtpDANCE hes no armor qtpDANCE im fucking running qtpDANCE im dead as fuck qtpDANCE im far as fuck from you guys qtpDANCE im gigalooted qtpDANCE
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

Troll face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠤⠒⢂⣉⣉⣉⣑⣒⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⣀⠔⠒⠉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⠉⠑⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⠠⠖⠡⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠥⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠰⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠈⠐⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣯⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠠⠤⢄⣀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠡⠐⠈⣉⠭⠤⠤⢄⡀⠈⠀⠈⠁⠉⠁⡠⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⠿⠛⠛⠓⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡉⢢⠙⣿ ⣿⠀⢀⠁⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠀⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠔⠒⠒⠂⠀⠈⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠋⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⡀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡦⢄⣀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠁⢸⠀⠀⠠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⢾⡆⠀⠈⡀⠎⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠉⠒⠢⡤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠦⠤⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠁⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠈⠹⡧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⢱⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⠒⠒⠂⠙⠏⠀⠘⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠰⠀⠀⠁⠐⠲⣤⣴⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⣠⣷⣶⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡙⠋⠙⠓⠲⢤⣤⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⢄⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠻⠋⠉⠛⢛⠉⠉⢹⠁⢀⢇⠎⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠈⠢⢄⡉⠂⠄⡀⠀⠈⠒⠢⠄⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣎⠀⠼⠊⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠉⠢⢄⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠈⠑⠒⠤⠄⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠂⠁⠀⢀⠆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠁⠉⠒⠂⠤⠤⣀⣀⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
January 2024

Reddit

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