[Copypasta] Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Moonmoon can’t beat a box of oatmeal

twitchquotes: This is fucking sad honestly. This man has been playing this game for hours on end , trying to memorize each and every attack and move. He has died over 1000 times to a box of oatmeal and hasn’t even gotten close to beating it. He comes up with an excuse for every death his chatroom watching him is even trying to give him energy “ GivePLZ TAKE ME ENERGYTakeNRG “ and give him tips which he ignores.Yet he still can’t beat a box of oatmeal how pathetic.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

i forgor 💀

nah, you forgor 💀 how to be funny. you forgor 💀 how to be original. you forgor 💀 how to be a decent human being in society. "i rember 😁" yeah, you rember 😁 the reason your parents divorced. you rember 😁 the reason why youre alone. you rember 😁 why nobody likes you. shut up lmao
August 2021

I forgor

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Excited Homer Simpson

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠏⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣴⢶⣶⣿⣟⣶⣿⣭⠿⠦⠤⠽⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡶⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠈⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢯⠋⠈⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠒⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢀⡴⠋⠉⢹⡶⠶⢤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢻⡜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠶⠒⠒⠀⠐⣄⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⠟⠛⠓⠶⣏⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠷⠙⠲⠄⠀⡀⠠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡇⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠈⠙⠦⣀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠈⢢⡀⠠⢾⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢲⡶⡄⠀⢀⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡴⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡷⢰⠃⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⠙⢦⡀⠀⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣠⠎⢀⣤⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⣠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⡖⠋⢀⡤⠾⠿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠇⠙⢿⠷⠖⠒⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠯⡉⠉⠀⠀⡷⠶⠯⡁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⡧⠂⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠈⠣⡴⠉⠡⡀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⢀⡴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣶⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⣄⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣎⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡤⠴⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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