Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.”
“Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?”
Stonks only go up.
But you don’t.
WallStreetBets
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
Ben Shapiro sings Rick Roll
Lets say, hypothetically, that we were not strangers to love, and lets say, you knew the rules and so did i. And if you thought of a full commitment, you wouldnt get this from any other guy, right? Then hypothetically speaking, i just want to tell you how im feeling. Now lets say i gotta make you understand. Now that we've established that im never gonna give you up or let you down. Am i not correct? You would never run around, and desert you. And i, as a balcony, think that i wouldnt make you cry, so i must be the one to never tell a lie, and hurt you
This would mean that, we've known eachother for so long, and logically, your hearts been aching but, youre too shy to say it. which would proceed with both of us knowing whats been going on. Which didnt make sense, we know the game, in a way that we're gonna play it. Yet, if you ask me how im feeling, seeing as you shouldnt say that youre too blind to see
Ben Shapiro
DWG KIA logo
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⠟⢻⡇⢸⡟⠻⣿⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⢻⡇⢠⣄⠈⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠁⣠⡄⣸⡟⠻⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⠿⢻⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⡄⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣧⠄⣿⠄⢿⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣧⣄⣤⣶⣿⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⣶⣤⣠⣼⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⠇⠸⠋⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠉⡿⠛⢩⣶⠈⡿⢟⣩⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣦⣄⡈⠛⠿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⢁⣠⣴⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⡀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣷⣦⣄⠈⠁⣠⣴⣾⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Hitler's message to Kripp
twitchquotes:
Well Met Kripp. This is Hitler from 1940. I came here to recruit your mods to be officers in my third reich army. please no copy seig heil pasterino .
twitch chat
Kripp