[Copypasta] Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
January 2021
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My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Please play AD Sion

twitchquotes: ᴍɪsᴛᴇʀ sᴀɴᴛᴀɴᴀ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀᴅʙʟᴏᴄᴋ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴠᴏʟᴜɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀɪʙᴜᴛɪᴏɴs ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀᴅ sɪᴏɴ. ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴇᴛ's sᴇᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ sʜɪᴛ ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴏɴ.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Monkey D. Luffy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡲⢋⠝⠋⣛⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠠⣴⠗⢀⠥⠂⢁⠤⠤⠤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠛⠉⠗⠒⠲⢤⣀⠀ ⠰⠃⠐⠀⠋⡠⠀⠮⠤⠤⠤⠤⡤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣽⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⠀⠜⠀⠀⠈⠀⢠⣤⣔⣒⡒⠒⠂⠁⠀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠀ ⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢄⡴⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠐⠉⢸⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣙⠋⠴⠛⣿⢛⡿⠬⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠹⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡇⠀⠉⠀⠘⠉⢰⣯⡊⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡄⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠛⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⢲⣄⠀⠒⠂⠀⣀⢴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⠀⢻⣿⣶⣴⣾⡟⢸⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⢀⣠⡤⠂⢠⠈⢿⣿⡿⣿⠃⠀⠙⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠉⢇⠀⠈⡇⠘⣏⠀⡿⡰⠀⠀⢀⠛⠛⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠗⠒⢿⡀⠸⡈⣠⠧⠞⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

One Piece

Stay negative

twitchquotes: (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Stay negative _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kripp is a sellout (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Chat is retarded _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kitty is dead (︶︹︺ ✿ ) _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Life sucks (︶︹︺ ✿ )
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

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