[Copypasta] Offline Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: wait people are still here? lol thats really weird. i was just gunna click on a vod to watch cuz a friend recommended it and saw you guys still sitting here when the streamer isnt even live. Honestly you guys need a life lmfao, sitting it a streamers chat all day wont make you feel better and it wont improve your chances of sleeping with her, not like you had any to begin with lmfao. you guys are just so pathetic. Later!
twitch chat
January 2021
People like to chat in a channel even after it has gone offline
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Please play AD Sion

twitchquotes: ᴍɪsᴛᴇʀ sᴀɴᴛᴀɴᴀ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀᴅʙʟᴏᴄᴋ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴠᴏʟᴜɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀɪʙᴜᴛɪᴏɴs ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀᴅ sɪᴏɴ. ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴇᴛ's sᴇᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ sʜɪᴛ ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴏɴ.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Saddam Hussein hiding spot v3

⬤▅▇█▇▆▅▄▄▄▇ 󠀀
ascii art
July 2021

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

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