[Copypasta] Offline Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: wait people are still here? lol thats really weird. i was just gunna click on a vod to watch cuz a friend recommended it and saw you guys still sitting here when the streamer isnt even live. Honestly you guys need a life lmfao, sitting it a streamers chat all day wont make you feel better and it wont improve your chances of sleeping with her, not like you had any to begin with lmfao. you guys are just so pathetic. Later!
twitch chat
January 2021
People like to chat in a channel even after it has gone offline
I used to be a real ad
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Steve Yuen "You Are Gay"

Have you even been walking down the street with your best bro, and while you're walking you accidentally touch hands. You think to yourself, "that was weird, but, I'm not gay". You are. You are gay.
June 2021

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021

A baby to listen to every night

twitchquotes: I sleep with your stream on every night. I used to be married, you know? She left because she can't stand your voice. I chose you. I'll always choose you, because if I can't have kids with the love of my life, at least I'll have a baby to listen to every night. BabyRage
twitch chat
May 2020

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Leper Gnome guns

twitchquotes: fuckin reymad m8, why do you look like you're 15 years old? You even old enough to drive there m8? I used to remember back in the old day your dad would yell at you on stream. I miss those days. Somebody needs to smash your face m8 all you do is play hearthstone all day. You obviously don't lift with those leper gnome guns you got there.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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