[Copypasta] Offline Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: wait people are still here? lol thats really weird. i was just gunna click on a vod to watch cuz a friend recommended it and saw you guys still sitting here when the streamer isnt even live. Honestly you guys need a life lmfao, sitting it a streamers chat all day wont make you feel better and it wont improve your chances of sleeping with her, not like you had any to begin with lmfao. you guys are just so pathetic. Later!
twitch chat
January 2021
People like to chat in a channel even after it has gone offline
What happened to this ad? :(
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Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

Surprised face emoji D:

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣉⣩⣤⣬⣉⣉⣉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠙⢻⣷⡆⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣴⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿ ⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻ ⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢛⣋⣉⣉⣉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼ ⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣬⣉⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠌⠛⢛⣋⣉⣁⣸⣿⡿⠋⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⡈⠙⢿⣿⣟⣈⣉⣩⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣉⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠉⠛⣋⣉⣉⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2019

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Buff Doge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣤⠈⢿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⢸⣿⣷⠦⢀⣤⡚⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠋⠀⢼⣥⡘⠃⣤⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠⡾⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣰⣿⡗⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠤⠴⠲⣲⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⡟⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄ ⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠑⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠾⠛⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠲⠀⠠⠄⠠⠴⠟⠒⠂⢀⡈⠁⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠄⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠐⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⣿⣿⡇⠀⠞⠁⠂⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠠⠤⠀⠀⠀⡢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣿⣿⡇⠀⠲⢮⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠤⠀⠄⠀⠀⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢡⠇⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡀⢹⣿⡇⠀⠓⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠒⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⠇⠀⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⣿⣿⣦⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠙⠇⠸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⣀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⡆⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠿⠀⣼⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⢂⣿⣷⡇⢠⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⣧⣤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⢠⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠸⢄⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⢁⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⠣⠀⠴⠅⠀⡄⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣷⡄⣠⣤⣄⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣉⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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March 2021

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
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