[Copypasta] Can a nigga borrow a fry?

He says it every morning. He calls me nigga, he calls the other kids nigga, he calls himself nigga. All the time. Nigga this, nigga that, nigga PLEASE. Bitch nigga. Nigga have you lost your mind? Nigga check that ho. Nigga, you bullshittin. Break yourself, nigga. He says it so much I don't even notice it anymore. Last week in lunch Riley says to a classmate, "Can a nigga borrow a French fry?" My first thought wasn't "Oh my God he said the word, t-the n-word!" It was "How is a nigga gonna borrow a fry?, nigga, is you gonna give it back?"
January 2021
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Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
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May 2015
Kripp

Crazy anime girl

⠄⠄⣠⠞⠁⢠⡞⣡⡴⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠓⠶⣤⣙⢦⡙⢦⡀⠄⠄ ⢀⡔⠁⠄⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣆⠙⡄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⣼⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡜⣆ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⡏ ⢤⣰⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠟⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⠉ ⠄⣼⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣼⣉⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠹⠄⠙⣿⣦⠄⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠛⡿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⠋⠿⠋⠻⣦⣝⠻⣦⣤⡾⢃⣠⡴⠆⠄⢸⠟⣿⣷⣄⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠹⣦⣀⣼⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⣻⣶⣿⣟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⡟⠘⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⣿⢿⡇⣷⠄⠄⣠⣴⠾⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠶⣤⡄⠄⢸⠄⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠇⠄⣿⣸⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠛⠷⢦⣴⠶⠟⠁⠄⣠⣾⣇⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⡇⠄⠄ ⣼⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣤⣤
January 2019

Weebs

Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021
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