[Copypasta] You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

BionicBunion

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–“ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu

Shaggy Doo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020

Imaqtpie is becoming... mainstream & idk how to feel

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie is becoming... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite streamer was and u had to say "imaqtpie idk if you know who that is though"
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

Kripp's Sellout Castle

twitchquotes: It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

sellout

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing