[Copypasta] You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021
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More Copypastas

Imaqtpie has mastered Kog'Maw's passive

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie, this is David 'Repertoir' Capurro, the lead designer on Kog'Maw back in 2010. Watching you play my champion really warms my heart, and I think you're one of the good guys. You've even mastered his passive!
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

No one RIOTS on my watch

twitchquotes: ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
October 2014
Trick2g

Reports gather, and now my chat restriction begins

twitchquotes: ʀᴇᴩᴏʀᴛs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍy ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇsᴛʀɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇɢɪɴs. ɪᴛ sʜᴀʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴍy ᴩᴇʀᴍᴀ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀʀᴅ ɴᴏ ʙʀᴜsʜ, ᴡɪɴ ɴᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇs, ғᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ᴛʀɪʙᴜɴᴀʟ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɴᴏ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ᴩᴏsᴛ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴩᴀᴍs ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ғʟᴀᴍᴇs ʜɪs ᴛᴇᴀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪᴅᴀʟᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴜᴩᴩᴏʀᴛs, ᴛʜᴇ sʜɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs ᴏғ ᴍᴇɴ. ɪ ᴩʟᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴍy ᴍᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴇyʙᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Black Lives Matter logo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣿⣄⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣮⣝⡻⢡⣿⣿⣿⡆⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⠹⢋⣾⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀ ⢰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠎⣛⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠨⣭⣘⡿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣵⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⢿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠇ ⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣾⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⠟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠟.
June 2020
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