[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Anime girl 6

⠄⠄⢿⣇⠄⠄⠘⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢧⡲⣿⢷⢦⡀ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⠄⠄⠄⢙⢞⢿⣿⢹⢿⣦⢏⣱⢿⠘⣿⣝⠹⢿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣏⣆⢿⣿⡞⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⡀⠄⠄⠈⣾⡸⡏⢸⡾⣴⣿⣿⣶⣼⣎⢵⢀⡛⣿⣷⡙⡻⢻⡴⠨⠨⠖⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧⢀⡴⠊⢹⠁⡇⠈⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣷⣜⡳⣝⢧⢃⢣⣼⢁⠘⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡇⠄⣠⠔⠚⣅⠄⢰⣶⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣷⡧⠄⣘⣟⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⠎⠄⠄⠄⣼⣦⠻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡾⢱⣿⡏⠸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄⠄⡄⠄⣿⢧⢗⠌⠻⣇⠿⠿⣸⣿⣿⡟⡐⣿⠟⢰⣇⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡆⠄⠃⢠⠏⣤⢀⢢⡰⣭⣛⡉⠩⠭⡅⣾⢳⡴⡀⢸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⡟⣽⠼⢀⡕⢀⠘⠸⢮⡳⡻⡍⡷⡆⠤⠤⠭⢸⢳⣷⢸⡟⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣿⢫⢞⣵⢏⡞⠄⢸⠄⣛⣗⠩⠄⣰⣚⠒⠂⣀⡀⢸⢸⣿⣧⠇⡼⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⣾⢟⡴⢫⡾⣱⢟⠄⠄⢸⠄⢈⡓⡮⡦⡬⠽⡠⠄⠔⠄⢸⠈⣿⣿⡄⣷⢹⣆⠄⠄ ⡿⢁⠞⢀⣿⢣⠇⣿⠄⠄⠸⢀⢳⢣⣗⣿⡇⡔⠄⠔⠄⠄⢠⠄⠹⣿⣷⡝⣧⢻⣆
December 2018

Weebs

Yoshi

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄▀▀▄▀▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░█▒▄░▄░░▒█▄▄▄░░░ ░░░▄▄█░▀░▀░░░█▄▓▓█░░ ░▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▀█▓▄ ▄▀▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒█▓▓█ █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄░░░░▒▒██▀ ▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▀░░▒▄█▄▀░░ ░░▀▀▄▄▄▄█▄░░▒▒▀▄█▄▄░
November 2014

Doot diddity donger cuckerino

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob 𝓓𝓸𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓸 CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
April 2018

2016 US Election

Text-to-Speech Playing