[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Your team is all washed up

twitchquotes: Rick Fox invites Shiphtur to his private island, and says to him, "I want you to play on my team." "But who will be my teammates?" Shiphtur replies. Just as he asks that, Dyrus, Scarra, Voyboy and Imaqtpie swim ashore. Rick Fox smiles as he looks towards the shore: "Your team is all washed up."
twitch chat
July 2017

League of Legends

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... ๐Ÿ˜ณ next to yours... ๐Ÿ˜ณ aha ha, just kidding.. ๐Ÿ˜‚ unless.. ? ๐Ÿ˜ณ
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

Iโ€™ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, Iโ€™ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. Itโ€™s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out โ€œOscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkinsโ€ each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says itโ€™s completely normal, but heโ€™s gay, so I canโ€™t trust him.
May 2021

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿป can be homer sexual ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ My daughter ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿป can be lebanese ๐Ÿ‘ญ But I will NEVER โ€ผ๏ธ Raise a child ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป who likes Jake and Logan Paul ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing