[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

Ultra EDM dance

twitchquotes: โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-) โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-) โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-) โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›โ”—(-_- )โ”“โ”—(-_-)โ”›โ”(-_-) โ”(-_-)โ”“โ”(-_-)โ”›
twitch chat
March 2016
Ultra

Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people donโ€™t know but back in 1912, Hellmanโ€™s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ“ฎ๐Ÿ“ฎโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i canโ€™t expose who he is to other crewmates ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder

So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canโ€™t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iโ€™m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing