[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Saddam Hussein hiding spot v2

Saddam Hussein's hiding spot β”‚Entrance hidden by β”‚Bricks and rubble β–‚β–ƒβ–‚β–…β–‡β–…β–…β–‡β–„β–ƒ β”³ β•‘ β•‘β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β–” β”‚ β•šβ•— ╔╝ β”‚ β•‘ β•‘ β”‚Saddam 6ft β•šβ•— ╔╝ β”‚Hussein β”‚====o β•šβ•β•β•β•β”‚β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•— β”‚ β”‚β•‘@ β–‡β–…β–†β–‡β–†β–…β–…β–ˆ β•‘ β”· β”‚β•šβ”‚β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β• Air vent β”‚ β”‚Fan
July 2021

The mods are doing a good job

twitchquotes: The mods are doing a good job of stopping the copying and pasting trolls. It's a shame that people ruin an entire chat with their immature behavior. Go mods, keep up the good work!
twitch chat
March 2018

MODS

I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times

FUCK YOU. I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. GET FUCKING ORIGINAL. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. Just because you don't agree with me DOES NOT HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH PARTIES. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I'll stick to my wine and cheese dinners, you know, REAL FUCKING PARTIES. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. WELL I'M FUCKING tired. of it. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. I will go STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING TOP and then I'll be the one laughing while you beg for my mercy. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties." So yeah, If you must know, I am pretty fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick.
August 2021

What's it like playing against Patron

twitchquotes: Sometimes when I see my opponent drop that Warsong Commander, I quickly turn my volume up to max, let go of my mouse, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I let the sounds of whirling blades and orc and dwarf voices engulf me and dive into a dream-like state where only I exist, floating through space with a sweet warmth in my belly. It's almost therapeutic.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kolento

Hearthstone

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

Text-to-Speech Playing