[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
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More Copypastas

Adapt created, quest activated, now we Jebaited

twitchquotes: Jebaited BATTLECRY OUTDATED Jebaited DISCOVERY OVERRATED Jebaited ADAPT CREATED Jebaited QUEST ACTIVATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE JEBAITED Jebaited
twitch chat
February 2017

Hearthstone

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane", is Riot's premier Wildcard region held in the saltiest continent and denoted as such, NA. It is ridiculed for its poor international performance and macro, favouring the "NARAM" style.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

God I wish Winston was real

twitchquotes: God I wish Winston was real. I want him to sit on my face with his furry ass. I want him to yell "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" as he thrusts into me. I want him to spam "OH YEAH" when we're finished. God if Blizzard made life-sized cutouts of Winston I would buy them all for myself and keep them in my basement for my pleasure. God I wish Winston was real.
twitch chat
March 2018

Overwatch

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