good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
High skill zoo plays
twitchquotes:
Is there a beginner stream to explain all of these high skill zoo plays and decisions they have to make? I can't keep up. 
twitch chat
PlayHearthstone
A man has fallen into the river in Lego City!
A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! Start the new rescue helicopter.
HEY!
Build the helicopter and off to the rescue. Prepare the lifeline, lower the stretcher, and make the rescue.
The new Emergency Collection from Lego City!
Lego City
Faeria created a strategy...
twitchquotes:
Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
Kripp
Dude, your donger is showing!
twitchquotes:
(ʘᗩʘ') Dude, your donger is showing (ʘᗩʘ')
twitch chat
Kripp
Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss
In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!