[Copypasta] NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's corgi Fey yips at Kripp

twitchquotes: CorgiDerp "Alright, yip at Kripp, I guess" CorgiDerp "Haven't yipped at Kripp in a while, let's go yip" CorgiDerp "Yipping at Kripp isn't that good, but alright" CorgiDerp
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Dear Chat, in 1967 there was a little girl named Morgana

twitchquotes: Dear Chat, in 1967 there was a little girl named Morgana who wanted to become an ADC, She commited suicide after QT would not play, Now that you have seen this you must copy and paste 10 times or you too will commit suicide.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

My BODY is machine that turns diary products into spicy liquid diarrhea

My πŸ€Έβ€β™‚οΈBODYπŸ‹οΈβ€β™€οΈ is a πŸš‚πŒπ€π‚π‡πˆππ„πŸš‚ that turns πŸ„π’Ήπ’Άπ’Ύπ“‡π“Ž π“…π“‡π‘œπ’Ήπ“Šπ’Έπ“‰π“ˆπŸ₯› into ➑ πŸ”₯β“ˆβ“…β’Ύβ’Έβ“ŽπŸ”₯ πŸ³π“π’Ύπ“†π“Šπ’Ύπ’ΉπŸ’¦ πŸ’©πŸ’©π”»π•€π”Έβ„β„β„π”Όπ”ΈπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ
March 2021

Emoji Pasta

Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing