[Copypasta] I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021

Fortnite default dance 7

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⣤⣤ ⠀⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⣤⣀ ⣶⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣶⣭⣿⣶⣀ ⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠛⠿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a “crew mate” broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we don’t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad “DAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!” I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol that’s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

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