[Copypasta] I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast πŸ’“ I feel dizzy πŸ€ͺ what is this tension in my lower body? πŸ€” I am sweating so much πŸ₯΅ I think i need a special vaccine πŸ† because I have [insert streamer name]virus πŸ€’πŸ€’πŸ€’
twitch chat
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Russkis of Easterino

twitchquotes: Guten tag mutterfugers. Das ist Gestrud Hitlerino of 1945. We are in need of assisterino for defeating the Russkis of Easterino. If you would lend your Mods to assisterino, we would be danke and one with stream. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lil’ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.”
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re β€” n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were β€” there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021

HEY krIpP its BeN BRoDe HerE

twitchquotes: SeemsGood HEY krIpP its BeN BRoDe HerE AnD We HEre at bliZZard All WhAt to THank yOU FoR MakIΓ‘ng ouR ChILDarEns GaMe POpular by STAYING PJSalt ThaT is Why I Have CoMpIlEd a TeaM of ProGramers To mAke Sure YOUr OPo nENTS Are AlwayS LuCkier ThAn YOu in Arena . ThEse ProGramers Will Make sure to kEEp YoU salty so we can keEp GeTting PAychecks OF My ChildrenS Game SeemsGood
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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