[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Let us out lettuce points

twitchquotes: Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"
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March 2019
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♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▀████▀▄▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▄█ ♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄♂♀♂♀▄▄▀▀█ ♂♀♂▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄♂♀♂█░░░░░ 👁️ ░░░░░ 👁️ █ ♂♀▀▄░░░░▄▀♂█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ♀♂♀█░░▄▀♀♂█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ♂♀█░░░█♀♂█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄
September 2018

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Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

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March 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing