[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
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July 2019
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I lied. Again

twitchquotes: Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again"
twitch chat
February 2015
Tempo Storm

what is the point of spamming in chat?

twitchquotes: what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment 󠀀
twitch chat
January 2022

I hate Twitch Chat

I Summon Fish Moley

twitchquotes: FishMoley By FishMoley All FishMoley That FishMoley Is FishMoley Holy FishMoley I FishMoley Summon FishMoley Fish FishMoley Moley
twitch chat
June 2017

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing