[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Jared wakes up in the middle of the night

twitchquotes: Jared wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. The moon shines high in the starless sky its light upon Jared. It illuminates his, pale almost ghostly face, he is sweating yet he feels so cold. From his lips only one word is whispered "Diamond III" he shivers for this word is a mortal reminder of his haunting nightmare. He tries to calm himself reassuring it was all but a bad dream. He looks up, a surrender vote blinking in the dark, and in the background qtpies maniacal laugh
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Can Everyone stop spamming J LUL K E

twitchquotes: Can Everyone stop spamming J LUL K E he is a pro player that is on the level far above any of you will ever be and its disrespectful for him as a legend dps to play junkrat when J LUL K E is being spammed
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Troll face 4

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May 2021

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing