[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Please stop hoarding Hearthstone dust

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽ Well Met Kripp, this is Doctorino Dongerino. I urge you: pls stop hoarding Hearthstone dust. Breathing in all that dust will cause your lungs to RIP in pepperonis. Pls copypasta to save Kripp life ༼ ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

FAKER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

twitchquotes: FAKER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
twitch chat
August 2014
ognglobal

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

DWG KIA logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⠟⢻⡇⢸⡟⠻⣿⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⢻⡇⢠⣄⠈⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠁⣠⡄⣸⡟⠻⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⠿⢻⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⡄⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣧⠄⣿⠄⢿⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣧⣄⣤⣶⣿⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⣶⣤⣠⣼⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⠇⠸⠋⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠉⡿⠛⢩⣶⠈⡿⢟⣩⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣦⣄⡈⠛⠿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⢁⣠⣴⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⡀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣷⣦⣄⠈⠁⣠⣴⣾⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

I hope Seraphine wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Seraphine wins xD. I'm a Sera main and she's just so fun!! People get so trolled by the charm, and her tweets are so cute like when she writes about anxiety LOL! She's super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
October 2020

League of Legends

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