[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Grey face man

twitchquotes: ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴍᴀɴ. ᴍʏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɢʀᴇᴇɴʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ sᴀᴡ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ sᴄᴀʀʏ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴘɪᴛᴀʟ. sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴋᴇ ᴏғ ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Vaporeon but uwu

April 2022

Pokemon

Full Doge

░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄ ░░░░░░░░▌▒█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▌ ░░░░░░░░▌▒▒█░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▄▄▀▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒▄█▒▐ ░░░▄▀▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀██▀▒▌ ░░▐▒▒▒▄▄▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▌ ░░▌░░▌█▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▐ ░▐░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌██▀▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀▄▌ ░▌░▒▄██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▌ ▌▒▀▐▄█▄█▌▄░▀▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▐ ▐▒▒▐▀▐▀▒░▄▄▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▒▌ ▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐ ░▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▌ ░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐ ░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▄▒▒▒▒▌ ░░░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▄▀ ░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▀ ░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀
November 2016

Cum bee

⣿⡟⠀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⠄⢠⣼⣟ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠻⠶⢤⣀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⡦⠀⠀⠸⠉⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠷⣦⡈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠐⢠⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣶⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠁⠀⠀⠙⣶⣤⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠚⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠋⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠳⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⡀⠀⢀⠐⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣮⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣉⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣾⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢻⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing