[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

He is so incredibly narcissistic

twitchquotes: I’m new here but I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he dies to his own mistakes and lack of skill. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to make a good challenging level and that if he can’t beat it the level must be garbage. Unbelievable...
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February 2020
Aurateur

VAPE ME UP, VAPE ME UP INSIDE

twitchquotes: VapeNation VAPE ME UP VapeNation VAPE ME UP INSIDE VapeNation CAN'T VAPE UP VapeNation VAPE ME UP INSIDE VapeNation VAPE MEEEEE VapeNation CALL MY NAME AND VAPE ME VapeNation
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April 2016
Kripp

VapeNation

Trollge from Typical Colors 2

⢿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠹⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠷⠶⠿⢻⣿⣛⣦⣙⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⠏⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣿⢛⣽⣜⠯⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣻⡀⢿ ⠐⠛⢿⣾⣖⣤⡀⠀⢀⡰⠿⢷⣶⣿⡇⠻⣖⣒⣒⣶⣿⣿⡟⢙⣶⣮ ⣤⠀⠀⠛⠻⠗⠿⠿⣯⡆⣿⣛⣿⡿⠿⠮⡶⠼⠟⠙⠊⠁⠀⠸⢣⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠭⣍⡉⢩⣥⡤⠥⣤⡶⣒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⡄⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣆⣿⣧⢡⣾⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠃ ⣿⣿⣷⣻⣆⢄⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠘⠛⠛⠛⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢸ ⢞⣿⣿⣷⣝⣷⣝⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⠈ ⣦⡑⠛⣟⢿⡿⣿⣷⣝⢧⡀⠀⠀⣶⣸⡇⣿⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⡆ ⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣍⡛⠻⢿⣷⠿⣶⣶⣬⣬⣁⣉⣀⣀⣁⡤⢴⣺⣾⣽⡇
July 2022

Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica

twitchquotes: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing