[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Byron, you have such a beautiful smile

twitchquotes: Byron, you have such a beautiful smile, luscious lips, smooth skin, gorgeous bald spot and an amazing STICC body, can I eat your ass? :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Hearthstone

Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

DrDisrespect C V paste

I get the whole meme thing, right? Like the whole meme, meming thing? But like, to be the person sitting in chat and going "C- uh, c v, paste..." 5 seconds later, "Hehe, c v, paste! Hehe! Oh, I got someone else copying and pasting the same thing that I did so c v, paste again! Paste it, paste it all day! Oh, theres four or five that are pasting the same thing! Hehe, I got- I should start my own website of spammers! C v, copy paste!" Like- I can't imagine.. h- like the brain sitting in that head.
August 2021
DrDisRespectLIVE

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing