[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

twitchquotes: ヽJUSTICE`、`RAINSヽ`ヽヽ☂ PogChamp ☂ ヽヽFROMヽ`ヽ`、`ABOVEヽ`
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

Bungie messages Dr Lupo about Destiny

twitchquotes: Hi DrLupo, it's Cliff, from Bungie. Yea I work two jobs, it's to afford my sick v6 BMW. Heard you were having some issues connecting to our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, with the notes 'Fortnite made you' and 'Tarkov Daddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only real Destiny streamers can play today. Feel free to submit an appeal, loser.
twitch chat
November 2020
DrLupo

Gun

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤ ⠀⠀⢶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠠⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⡀⠀⠀⢹⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣙⣂⣠⠼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
October 2021

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 3)

So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Don't Care Ratio

dont care + didnt ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe copedon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + so bad + so ass
May 2022

Ratio

Who Asked?

Text-to-Speech Playing