[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Le Toucan has arrived

░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄░░░ ░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄███████████████ ░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████░░
January 2015

Classic

Reynad and Kripp lay sprawled across the bed

twitchquotes: Reynad and Kripp lay sprawled across the bed, every inch of them exhausted from the rigorous topdecking that had just occurred. "Your deck was crazy" Kripp whimpered before remebering that he'd forgotten to pay. He grabbed a few coins from his emergency OJ stash. "Welcome to the five dollar club" he said as Reynad oiled up for the brofist.
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

KappaPride

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much, I had all the merchandise and VODS. I pray to xQc every night, thanking him for the life I've been given. "xQc is love" I say "xQc is life" My dad hears me and calls me a Juicer. I knew he was jealous of my devotion to xQc. I called him baj He hits me and sends me to sleep I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... Its xQc! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my jungle" He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for xQc. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for xQc. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering. I want to please xQc. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with the juice. My dad walks in. xQc looks him straight in the eye and says, He got the Juice now. xQc leaves through my window. xQc is love. xQc is life.
January 2022
xQcOW

Great day, isn't it Reynad?

twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

We don’t have any words

twitchquotes: We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them. We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it. This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing