[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 2)

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser! He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid bitch
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

a girl called me peggable yesterday and idk if im happy with that lmao

so yesterday at school i was with 2 of my friends and we were standing at a table with 2 girls that one of my friends knows better than i know them, and we were talking about couples in our school, and one of the girls just says to me out of nowhere “you’re like the main example of a kind of peggable boy too” and that took be by surprise so much i said “oh, wwell thanks i guess” and i think i was probably blushing soo idk if i only solidified her opinion lmao so like idk if she was flirting or just messing with me im not great at picking up hints, it seems like im not as crazy into pegging as most of u guys are (im mostly gay lmao) and also i dont know if i can now still normally talk to her so help me please ;-;
April 2022

Mods can't ban me at this pace

twitchquotes: 🐢 SLOW AND STEADY 🐢 WINS THE RACE 🐢 MODS CAN'T BAN ME 🐢 AT THIS PACE 🐢
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Classic

Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing