[Copypasta] A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
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More Copypastas

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

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December 2021

FeelsRainMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠖⠀⣀⡈⢭⣉⠩⣭⣉⣐⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠙⢋⣴⠞⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⡙⢿⠟⣡⣾⣶⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⢿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠿⣿ ⢿⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⠌⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣭⣭⣥⣌ ⡶⢀⣾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢀⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⢴⣶⣬⣬⣈⣵⣾⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣥⣥⣶⠖⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠒⠠⢥⡠⠤⠤⢄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⢿⡿⢫⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠦⠂⠉⠉⠵⠄⠤⠀⠐⠒⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠤⣶⠆⠂⠍⠻⢷⣾⡏⠑⠀⢹⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠒⡒⠖⠂⠁⠀⣀⡀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡙⢿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣝⣒⣶⠦⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⢶⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠠⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢴⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⢛⢛⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠷⠦⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠤⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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