[Copypasta] A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but ▬▬▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬▬▬ ▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤█▀▀████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ╬ ◥ █████ ◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You hella gay, no cap ╬═╬ ☻/ ╬═╬ /▌ ╬═╬ / \
December 2020

Jokerd I can do whatever I want

twitchquotes: Who do I think I am? Let me tell you who I am. I am world first level 60 in fucking classic wow. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You think I'm a random player? You think I'm a fucking random player? Let me fucking clue you in bitch. I am the the guy who had 350 fucking thousand viewers playing this fucking game. Me, not you. The most views ever on this game. The first guy to hit 60. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
twitch chat
November 2020
JokerdTV

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS

twitchquotes: ー═┻┳︻▄ξ(╬ಠ益ಠ)ξ▄︻┻┳═一 "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

That's a KEKW bro

twitchquotes: ㄒ卄卂ㄒ丂 卂 Ҝ乇Ҝ山 乃尺ㄖ
twitch chat
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing