Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
I used to be a real ad
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Bro, you MASHING right now!
twitchquotes:
Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
NairoMK
Super Smash Bros
Kripp's stream is like watching paint dry
twitchquotes:
How the ever loving *** is this guy getting 24k people to watch him play HS? It's like having a small country collectively decide to grow an interest in watching paint dry. Boggles the mind. Really.
twitch chat
Kripp
Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it
Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
BBoomer
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Chug jug with you (lyrics)
We got a...
1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!)
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out Tomato Town
My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound
Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
He said..
"Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?"
"I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP."
"Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari."
"I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet."
"There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!"
I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend.
I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer!
Cool.. pro.. Fortnite?
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2
La, lA AUGHH
La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?)
Pro Fortnite Gamer..
Can we get a win this weekend?
Take me to Loot Lake!
Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate!
Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone!
I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone!
Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro!
He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack!
I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale..
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)