Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
I used to be a real ad
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🍆HAPPY SPANKSGIVING💦
‼️ITS🍗 SPANKSGIVING 🍂 BITCHES‼️On this day 🗓 many years ago 😮 the SLUTTY 👠 PILGRIMS 🎩 sailed ⛵️ across the ASSlantic 🌊 HOEcean in a quest 👀to find 🔎 more 😍 COCKS 🍆 to SUCK! 👅 Together with the 😈 NAUGHTY 😈 NATIVES 👹, they gathered 👫 around the dinner table 🍽 and had 🎉 our nation’s very 1️⃣st GANG BANG! 👯♀️👯👯♂️ We honor 🙌🏻 their ORGY 😮 every year 📆 by giving THANKS 🙏🏼 to all 🥰 that’s important ❤️ to us: Family 👨👩👧👦, Friends 👬, Freedom 🇺🇸, and DICK! 🍆🌽👅 So grab your BUNS, 🍞✊👉👌squeeze those BREASTS, 🍗🔥🤲 and shove a cornaCOPIOUS 🌽🌽 amount of DICK 🍆 😩 into that hungry 😮 hungry HOLE! 🕳💓👅 Ladies 👯♀️, just like your 🦃 THOTSgiving 🦃 turkey, it’s time ⏰ to throw your legs 🤸🏼♀️in the air 🤸🏼♀️and prepare to get ➡️ STUFFED 🙀!
After dinner,🍴it’s time 😮 for CUMPKIN PIE!! 🥧 Show Daddy 👨🏽🦳 how 🙏🏼 thankful 🙏🏼 you are and LICKK 😛 his WishBONE 🦴 until he gets as HARD 🏔as PlyMOUTH rock ⛰ and shoots 💦 his HOMEADE GRAVY 🥣! 👅 Midnight 🌙 starts 😈 BLACK ⬛️ FRIDAY 🛍 so send 📤 this to 🔟 THOTS 💁🏻♀️you are thankful 🙏🏼 for! If you get 0️⃣ back, sail 🔙 to England 🖕🏻🤮 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’ll be getting your corn 🌽 CREAMED 😋🥰. Get 🔟 back or more, and the 🙀 BIGGEST, 🙀 GIRTHIEST, BLACK⚫️ FRIDAY 🍆 COCK 😱 is CUMMING 💦YOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT 🙀😍🙀😍🙀😍
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
NSFW
Holiday
Thijs please remove your shirt immediately
twitchquotes:
Hello @Thijs this is the Belastingdienst - the Tax and Customs Administration of the Netherlands. We have founds some discrepancies in your tax return. In order to correct your mistakes and avoid getting a fine - please remove your shirt immediately. Thank you for your cooperation.
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Thijs
KKona boy I was at that darn there
twitchquotes:
boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it
boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it
twitch chat
Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
WallStreetBets
Donger Song
twitchquotes:
I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉA Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ
twitch chat
Kripp