[Copypasta] Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor

twitchquotes: ​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
June 2021
TenZ

Valorant

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ
twitch chat
August 2014

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022

SMOrc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣭⠉⠙⠙⡛⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣜⣿⣿⣿⠧⠤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠉⢩⠋⠡⣲⡦⣶⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⢿⣯⡩⠭⠭⣍⣒⠣⣄⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣄⢤⣿⡿⠑⠀⠀⠀⠲⣷⡯⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠤⠼⠀⠈⢲⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⡦⠂⡼⣶⢟⠟⠁⠤⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢰⣿⠣⠃⣴⣾⡶⢿⡾⣿⢿⣿⢿⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣾⡏⢀⣾⣿⠋⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡞⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢿⠀⢸⣇⣅⣀⣿⣁⣻⣁⣻⣀⣹⣃⣸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠘⠀⡈⠏⠥⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢧⡲⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢮⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing